ANother Life: Final Hand
by Ryuchan21
Summary: Six months after the events of Another Life Xaldin and Luxord are running their bar. The pair still seem to be unable to confess to each other. Xaldin still can't bring himself to confess and Luxord won't tell him he already knows how he feels.
1. Chapter 1

**Part 1: A step forward**

"Wait, Xaldin." He gasped as he felt the hot mouth against the skin of his neck. He lost his balance and fell back on the covers, groaning when the weight of the other fell on him. Panting, his body felt hot and he was having trouble keeping any solid thought in his head.

Xaldin reached up and slid his hand all the way up the blonde's arm, lacing his fingers with him as his other hand worked at the man's shirt. "I can't wait anymore." He gasped gruffly and nibbled at his ear. Flicking his tongue against him he finally just ripped the shirt open and sent buttons flying onto the floor.  
He looked up at him, feeling like his whole body was on fire, and when the other's mouth closed around one of his nipples he cried out sharply as a jolt ran through him. OH god. It was like he was delirious, lost in all the sensations as Xaldin's hands ran over him, peeling away their clothes until he sat staring up at him. Swallowing the lump in his throat he reached up and looped his arms around his neck, lifting his head to kiss him.

Arching his hips, Xaldin wrapped his arms around him and whispered in his ear. "I love you."

Something ignited in him and he moaned loudly as their bodies moved together, holding on for dear life as any doubts left his mind. Why had he waited so long? "OH...Xaldin...I...I...!"

He cried out as he sat up in bed, his head spinning from getting up to fast. With a groan he looked around the empty room and the fell back on the bed. "Bloody hell, not again."

It had been six month since they had left Castle Oblivion, bought their bar and spent three months setting it up. Now after three months of being open they had become a pretty regular hang out spot. However, things between Xaldin and himself had not progressed. In truth he was too scared to admit it outright and Xaldin was playing Saint by being patient. Then there were the dreams. It's not like he was consciously doing it but for a month now he'd had such dreams, playing out different scenarios to how they would deal with things. It drove him crazy...and made for very awkward mornings when he really needed the bathroom and had to walk past Xaldin to get there.

With a sigh he flung back the covers and got up. It was already almost noon and though they usually had late nights, what with the bar being open till dawn half the time, he still felt lazy waking up so late. Yawning he stretched and put on some pants, at least to cover his problem before cracking open the door. He didn't hear any banging around in the kitchen and so with a mad dash he made a b-line for the bathroom. As he pushed open the door he realized exactly why he hadn't heard anyone in the kitchen. "Sorry!" he quickly shut the door, his face red as he tried to catch his breath.  
"I'm almost done." Xaldin called from the other side of the door.  
"No problem." He managed to choke out before turning back and heading to his room. Dammit, now it was worse. Thank god he'd been in a towel otherwise he may have totally lost it there. It was bad enough the dream was still fresh in his mind. Six months of nothing and it wasn't like he hadn't tried on some level. They lived together for god's sake and yet Xaldin never did anything. He understood the other was trying to give him space in order to not make things awkward but the problem was he already knew how the man felt. Groaning he crawled back in bed, hoping if he thought about anything else his morning issue would go away.

A tap sounded on his door a few minutes later. "Lux, I'm done with the bathroom now."

"O...okay!" He called and huddled under the covers. Oh god, please don't come in. He said to himself. The last thing he needed was Xaldin to notice such a thing and cause some strange awkwardness between them. He liked that they could hang out as friends but this waiting was almost worse then the discomfort admitted feelings would present.

'You want some coffee?" The voice said, a little unsure.

"Sounds great." He picked up a towel from the previous day off the floor and held it in front of him as he opened the door, a little startled by how close Xaldin was standing to it.

The other man stood up straight. "Oh, want breakfast too?" he backed up a little to let the blond by.

Forcing an aloof grin he nodded. "Sure. I'll be out of the shower in a minute." He quickly found refuge in their rather large bathroom and leaned on the door with a long heavy sigh. Turning on the water he tried to let the heat wash away his grogginess and maybe some of those lingering memories of the dream. However the heat just reminded him about how hot in the dream he was and to his great shame he took care of his issue. About ten minutes later he stared at himself in the mirror. "I've lost my bloody mind."

In the kitchen Xaldin made a pretty simple breakfast of a sausage and egg sandwich with some coffee. Though a fantastic bartender, to Luxord's amazement, Xaldin also proved to be a decent cook. Actually picking up things from Marluxia when they went to Castle Oblivion to visit.

The newlyweds were all still doing well. In fact they were doing great. Vexen and Marluxia had totally pulled a one eighty from when Luxord had first woken up. They seemed inseparable and if one came up in conversation the other would get this look on their face that would make anyone die of a sugar overload. Then there was Xigbar and Demyx; the two were your typical perfect pair, always seeming to have a blast everyday, all day. God he was slightly envious of them, though he wouldn't admit it. It wasn't like the past six months had been bad. Larxene had been with them after all, and he had to thank the woman. She was the only one either could really talk to about...well their relationship or lack there of. She was an open ear, a swift kick in the ass and a constant reminder that they should really just confess already. So why hadn't he? He wasn't sure but a part of him held back that statement and so they were still here.

Xaldin slid the plate in front of him at the table, snapping him out of his train of thought. "Have a good shower?" The man grinned.

He gave the other a grin that spoke a hundred different things. "Fantastic." Though if the man knew about his dream that morning or his shower activities he may not look so relaxed. Shaking his head he sipped at his coffee and began to eat. As per most mornings Xaldin left to go work on the books down in the bar while Luxord went out to buy some supplies for the evening; mainly some food and making orders for a certain amount of different liquors. Their place was actually right above the bar so it was easy to drag their, half drunk asses to bed every night. Actually they hardly drank while working, Luxord knew if he had a certain amount of alcohol in him there would be no force on earth to keep him from blabbing himself to Xaldin and causing a giant mess.

As he was leaving a vendor he spotted a familiar blond. "What are you in town for Vexen?" He called as he walked over.

The man's gaze snapped to him and his green eyes lightened a little. "Picking up my payment from the Ducks, what about you?" He looked at the list. "Orders?"

He nodded. "Yeah, the usual." He looked around. "No Marluxia today?" Which was a surprise.

Vexen smirked. "He's actually at the plant store looking at some things. He'll probably buy so much crap I'll have to get a cart to haul it all home." He said that but his voice had a warm affectionate tone to it. Six months ago Vexen was barely able to handle his and Marluxia's relationship, now he couldn't look more comfortable.

He nodded. "Are you guys coming to the bar tonight?" He asked. Usually on the weekends the four of the Oblivion crew would come and have some drinks. Though he probably couldn't expect much drinking from Vexen. A couple months ago he had one too many and well...let's say that now they knew a lot more then the man would ever admit to...about everything.

"Most likely." He glanced over his shoulder as if sensing him. Marluxia came walking up with a few bags. "Took you long enough." He said disgruntled.

"Sorry, honey." Marluxia set down the bags and flashed him a mocking smile. "They were having a sale." He clapped his hands before turning his expression to one a little more serious. "Actually they had some new things in so I decided to try them out."

Vexen grinned. "Well, whatever you want I suppose." He turned back to Luxord. "We'll be in around seven tonight so save us a table." The pair said their goodbyes and Vexen helped Marluxia with his bags if only to free up a hand for the both of them. Hand in hand they went back to Castle Oblivion and Luxord was again reminded of his slight envy. Dammit, this was so stupid.

In all actuality Luxord wasn't the only one suffering in that apartment. Xaldin was having a hell of a time even concentrating on the books. That morning he was just as startled with the blond walking in on him and even if he was covered up his body did have a reaction. Thankfully the intrusion was brief and he was able to play it off like nothing, though he couldn't understand why Luxord got all flustered about it. Because he was still under the assumption that the man was very straight he assumed it must have been some lasting reflex from living at Oblivion.

Growling he tossed the papers on the desk. This had been the longest six months of his life. He couldn't count the number of times he'd just be sitting having a normal conversation with the Brit when his mind wandered and before he knew it he was in a full out fantasy in his head until something snapped him back to reality. How he'd managed to stay so patient and away from Luxord was a miracle indeed. Thank god for the others and Larxene. He talked to their blond female companion quite frequently if only to still his frustration. She kept telling him to make a move but he was so worried about scaring the man off he clammed up every time he started to try. If only there was a clearer sign how the other felt about him he might be okay with trying to express his feelings. However he seemed to miss all the obvious signs and thus the pair was still stuck in limbo.

He battled through the rest of the papers, trying to focus on business since he'd have to go get dressed in a couple hours for when the bar opened. He was having fun running the place with Luxord. He ran the bar while Luxord dealt with the guests and was the dealer for the poker table. He had a natural charm to him and was able to keep pulling in players even if people knew they'd lose to him. Granted he let some people win but the man was skilled and wasn't easily beat. He also had to admit he felt jealous of all the women that hung around him. Lux always had girls fawning over him and it drove him crazy. If only he could touch the other so freely he wouldn't be feeling so frustrated now.

Sighing he got up after finishing the books from last night and went to go get dressed. Some days he wanted to sleep in the office just so the terrible temptation wouldn't be there. Sharing an apartment with Luxord was like getting stabbed in the gut on a daily basis. It would be so easy to cross the living room and open the Brit's door, see him all curled up in his bed, take in the look of how the sheets formed to his body and...oh god he needed to stop this. Heading upstairs he got ready, not expecting Lux to get back till later after the bar opened. Since the blond dealt the cards he usually drank with the guests to keep the party lively but it left him a little more exhausted than Xaldin. Maybe he should give him a few days off.

Heading down to the bar he opened up, stepping behind the bar to get things ready for the first rush.

"Xal?"

He looked up at the sound and found the blond woman who was usually the only person he could talk about Lux with. "Hey, Larx. You're early." He grinned.

She cracked a smile. "Well, I had to change. I just got done doing a bunch of errands for Cid." She grumbled and headed for the back office. "I'll be out in a sec."

"Okay." He grinned and cleaned a glass. Larxene had taken to not only working at the bar by doing odd jobs around town. She liked immersing herself in people and getting praised. She seemed reluctant to leave them alone, going to Castle Oblivion frequently to visit and help out even if she bitched the whole time.

"Hey."

He glanced over at the door. The blond that usually occupied his thoughts came strolling in, giving him that grin that made him curse his cowardice. "Hey. Get everything done?" He always tried to play the aloof card but he was always worried he was being too obvious. However if he was Lux never said anything nor acted differently.

"Yeah, I ran into Vexen and Marluxia in town." He sat at the bar, leaning on it near him. "They said they'll probably come in so save them the usual spot." He looked at the arrangement of liquor behind the bar. "The new stock should come in tomorrow."

Xaldin nodded as he cleaned glasses. "Thanks. You should probably go get changed." He looked at him.

Lux sighed and nodded. "Yeah yeah, gotta look good for the ladies I guess." Though he sounded tired.

Xaldin snorted. "You know you like the attention." He picked up another glass and was focusing on cleaning it. So he didn't see the look Luxord gave him.

The Brit seemed a little sad but answered, "Yeah, sure I do." He quickly left the bar, heading upstairs to change. He didn't want the women to hit on him he wanted Xaldin to do something, otherwise his heart was going to suffocate.

In the bar Larxene leaned on the wall near the hallways to the office. "You're an idiot." She growled.

Xaldin looked at her. "I know. I just...I try and be like any other guy friend it's just hard." He sighed.

"I keep telling you to strap on a pair and confess already. You may be surprised with his response." She sat at the bar, sitting on the stool with her knees.

"He's straight, I can't expect him to just decided, 'hey, sure I'll be gay with you'. That's unfair to ask." He growled and threw the towel under the bar as he rolled up his sleeves. "What makes you so sure he'll even consider it, Larx?"  
She rolled her eyes to stair at the ceiling, "Oh I don't know, a hunch. Call it women's intuition." She laughed and smacked him on the arm. "Want me to go turn on the open sign?"

"Yeah." He sighed again.

"Smile, Xal. Gotta show that charming smile to the ladies." She cackled and flipped the sign on.

Xaldin looked at her. "But the one I want is upstairs." He muttered.

That night the bar was packed. It was a weekend thus the usuals plus some newcomers filed in. Xaldin was serving up drink quickly with Larxene while Luxord brought in the guests and taking their money.

"Feel like making up a usual?" Called a familiar voice.

Xaldin turned and grinned. "I suppose I could. You think you can handle it though, grandpa?"

The scared man laughed. "Screw you, Xal. Make me a damn drink." Xigbar laughed as a blond boy walked up.

"Hi, Xaldin." He grinned before Xigbar ruffled his hair.

"Hey, Dem. What would you like?" He was already making Xigbar's drink with expert skill.

"Um..."The blond thought a moment, "surprise me." He laughed.

Xaldin looked at Xigbar who winked. With a knowing grin he whipped up a nice and strong drink that would guarantee the most interesting evening for Xigbar. "Where are Marluxia and Vex?" He looked around just as the pair was walking over hand in hand. He smiled at them. "Glad to see you two came attached at the hip as usual." He snickered.

Vexen raised a brow. "I don't want to hear it from you, Xaldin." He leaned against Marluxia as they sat down. "With your predicament you have no room to talk about relationships."

Xigbar snorted. "Oh burn." He patted Xaldin on the shoulder. "He's got ya there."

The man behind the bar growled. "You all suck." Turning he got them all set up with drinks before getting pulled away by more customers. It wasn't much longer when he noticed the woman he had served quite a while ago still hung around the bar and was trying to talk to him. As it slowed down her advances rose and he realized she was hitting on him.

"So, you're rather skilled with all those bottles." She smirked. "You must have good coordination. Where'd you learn that?" She watched him flip the bottles around.

"Oh, you pick it up." He laughed it off, not wanting to explain that he usually wielded six lances better then most people could wield one.

"I bet." She laughed and leaned over the bar to catch his attention.

He was a little thrown off and just stared at her for a moment.

Luxord had noticed the woman sniffing around and his concentration was getting thrown off. He couldn't even fake flirt with the girls around him. "Pardon me, ladies, I'm in need of a drink." He closed the game momentarily and excused himself. Because he wasn't in the mood to mess around he slowed time just enough to shift through the crowd with limited bumping. Once at the bar he quickly slid into the seat next to the woman. "Xaldin, how dare you ignore such a lovely girl." He quickly threw on the charm, hooking his finger under her chin and turned her head from Xaldin. The lancer looked both relieved and shocked at the display. "Perhaps the lovely lady would like a round of cards."

She was thrown off, unsure of who to go after now; the bartender with the sexy grin and striking eyes or this man who was just as attractive and seemed to have the charm of a prince. "Um...I...I don't know how to play." She confessed.

Luxord leaned closer. "Well, allow me to show you." He purred and led her from the bar, sneaking one last glance at Xaldin. The hell he was letting this hussy get her mitts on him. He may not have made a move but HE was the one Xaldin was in love with dammit!

Larxene watched the display with her jaw open. "Oh yeah, real smooth, Lux." She muttered and turned to Xaldin who looked a little miffed. "What?" She asked leaning closer.

He stared at Luxord who led the girl away. "What the hell? Does he think I'm competition or something?"

If Larxene could have smacked her face without a bunch of people looking at her like she was crazy she would of. Man he was thick. "Xaldin, I don't think that was..."

"Seriously." He looked at Larxene somewhere between pissed and worried. "Does he think I'm competition? What the hell was that?"

She looked at Xigbar who saw the whole thing and the man nodded. "Xaldin, I don't think he meant it that way. I think he was trying to help you."

Xigbar scooted in. "Xal, come have a drink with us, Larxene can cover for now." He looked at him, forcing a grin.

"Yeah, it's slow. Go relax." She pushed him down the bar.

Reluctantly Xaldin followed Xigbar over to the others and sat down to share a drink.

Luxord managed to get the woman's interest off Xaldin and the game went on. However, he kept sneaking glances at the man wondering if his little display would be called into question. He hadn't meant to be so obvious but when he saw the woman move in on...well HIS territory he wasn't going to just sit around and do nothing.

A few hours later and Marluxia slammed down another shot glass looking at both Xigbar and Xaldin. The other two weren't looking so good either but the pink haired man was obviously the worse off.

Xigbar reached down and took a shot, tipping his head back and slurping it down before slamming the glass down next to his other empty glasses.

Xaldin did the same, not nearly as bad off as the other two though Xigbar was doing rather well.

Marluxia stared down at the shot, picking it up and looking at it.

Vexen looked at him a little worried, expecting him to totally hurl any moment.

Demyx seemed totally enthralled by the whole thing, though he was a bit drunk himself and fighting a fit of giggles.

Carefully he brought the glass to his lips and took the shot. As he slammed the glass down he began to wobble.

The blond next to him was quick and caught him before he toppled out of his chair. "Okay, I think that's enough for you." He said as he tried to keep him in his chair.

Xigbar let out a sigh of relief. "Good." He turned to Xaldin. "I forfeit, you are clearly the stronger drinker." He shook the other's hand.

"Thank you. You were great competition though." Really neither wanted to drink anymore but since Marluxia had suggested the game they didn't want to seem like pansies and tap out too early. They really thought the man would pass out like five shots ago.

"He lasted longer then I thought." Xigbar said as he stood a little shaky.

Vexen looked up and he slid his arms around Marluxia and lifted him into his arms. "He has good stamina." He grinned.

The other man looked at him a moment. "I...I know I'm drunk but I somehow still don't think I needed to know that." He looked at Demyx who had latched onto his arm.

"Are we going now?" He pouted.

"Yeah, Dem, we should probably head back." He turned to Xaldin. "Guess we'll see you around." He grinned.

The other man collected the drinks, he didn't seemed fazed by the booze at all. "Yup, you guys have a safe trip back to the castle." Though he had no doubt. Vexen barely drank and seemed more the capable of getting them all home. It was actually funny to see him carrying Marluxia like that but he seemed rather pleased to do it. He saw the group off and he and Larxene started helping others from the bar.

Once they were clear Larxene said she'd close up so they other two could get to bed. Luxord had quite a bit to drink and Xaldin wasn't doing to well either. "You boys go get some sleep. I got it." She winked and sent them off to bed, keeping her fingers crossed.

Upstairs the pair didn't say anything. Even after the drinking game Xaldin still thought about Luxord's little stunt. Finally he couldn't take it anymore. "I didn't realize having some of the patrons hit on me was cramping your style." Oh that came out wrong but he was kinda bitter and hurt and maybe a little jealous...okay a lot jealous.

The blond looked at him. "Excuse me?" He was already tired and a little drunk and he'd had to spend all evening flirting with that damned woman so she'd stay away from Xaldin.

"That woman. I wasn't aware you had to have all the women in the bar's attention." He looked at him, his jealousy showing on his face.

Even if he knew who Xaldin was jealous over it still hurt t have him say that. "Well excuse me. I wasn't aware you wanted her." He entered the apartment, storming into the living room.

"I didn't say that." He slammed the door.

The blond rounded on him. "I was trying to bail you out and this is the thanks I get. Next time I'll bloody well let you have the bitch!" He was pissed. He'd been agonizing over this every night, wondering if some woman would catch his fancy, worried Xaldin would lose interest in him. Hell, maybe he had since he never made a move.

Xaldin rebuked at the comment, not really sure how to take it. "I didn't want her but you came waltzing over like she belonged to you. What am I competition?" He growled.

Even if the other looked rather striking with that temper flaring up he was too pissed himself to enjoy it. "You aren't the competition! SHE is..." He caught himself, "you know what, I don't have to explain myself to you." He turned and headed for his room.

"Lux!" Xaldin called.

"Sod off!" He slammed his door, leaning against it and trying to control himself. DAMMIT! This wasn't supposed to happen. He hadn't meant for it to look like that...okay maybe he had but he was sure that maybe Xaldin had some clue that he felt the same.

Xaldin cursed rather crudely and headed for his own room. He was all churned up inside. His intention hadn't been to start a fight. He only wanted to know what the other was thinking. There were times that it seemed like Luxord was giving him odd signals almost like he might like him and then other times like he was totally against the whole idea. So which was it and should he do as Larxene said and confess or just keep quiet? He gave a gruff grunt and pounded his dresser before flopping on his bed. Just great. He'd have to apologize in the morning. He knew he'd been in the wrong.

The two went to bed angry, neither really sleeping even with the amount of liquor in them. They both tossed and turned, neither one wanted to just go knock on the other's door and say sorry.


	2. Chapter 2

**Part 2: A Step Back**

Luxord was up very early the next day, showering and dressing before he heard Xaldin stir. He had to get out of the place for a while, clear his head. He had slipped up last night, been so obvious but because Xaldin apparently could never see him as having feelings for him he probably thought nothing of it. With a sigh he quickly ducked out of the apartment just as he heard Xaldin's bedroom door open. He was meeting Larxene at a coffee shop down the street, hoping the woman could help him figure things out.

"Well you're both morons." Larxene hissed as she sipped her latte. "I was so sure maybe ONE of you would do something but you both went upstairs and had a freakin' fight!" She slammed the cup down. "Lux, don't you want him at all?"  
"That isn't the point of the matter, Larxene. I may want him now but..." He sighed and sat back, "What if I do say something and we date? What if down the road I realize that I don't really feel as strongly as I thought, like it was just the built up sexual tension? What then?"

She growled and thought about it. "What if this, what if that. Lux, you are never going to know until you try."

"I know, but I don't want to hurt him. He's like my best friend and if I hurt him like that, I don't think I could stay around him anymore. I'd feel too bloody awful about what I did." This possibility had been bothering him for a long while now. "I just don't want to ruin the chance to be around him over a momentary feeling that I mistake for love. I mean...I love him as a friend but as far as more I still don't know if what I feel is genuine."

Larxene nodded. "I understand your worry, but what if it is real? Would you confess then?"

He nodded. "If I was more sure about things then yeah, of course."

She thought about it for a moment. "Well not that I'm trying to promote trouble, but maybe you should go away for a while." She looked at him, a little unsure herself.

Luxord stared back.

"I mean if you're worried about your feelings cooling down after you get together then just go away for a while. If they cool down you can go on how you have been and if he confesses you can tell him no but still be friends. If they don't cool down then you can come back and tell him straight out that you love him too." She nodded her head and crossed her arms; sure that this was the best course of action. Either that or she'd drug them both and lock them in a dark room for days till somebody did something.

The Brit considered this. "You think that will really work?"

She sighed. "Why don't you go talk to Vexen or Xigbar or something. They have all been in the same boat."

Luxord nodded. "All right. Can you cover at the bar for me? If Xaldin asks I just had to pick something up from Vexen and will be back soon." He got up, setting down his money for the coffee.

"And if he asks if you're mad at him?" She said.

"I'm not." Turning Luxord left the cafe, wondering if it came down to it he could really leave.

Life at Castle Oblivion had come a long way since the days when some certain Nobodies came to try and lure a keyblade wielder to the dark side. Now it was a rather cheery place full of two such couples that more or less got along. However this day it was a little less peaceful than normal. Demyx was both amazed and afraid when he saw two men run down the hallway, both stumbling over each other from the lab doorway. "RUN! RUN!" Vexen screamed, running past Demyx.

Xigbar was right behind him, grabbing the blond boy by the shoulder as they took off down the hall. "Run, little dude!" He cried as they bolted. A few moments later there was a large explosion followed by some oddly smelling green gas that managed to flow down into part of Marluxia's garden. The three men in the hallway had hit the dirt when the explosion went off.

"GOD DAMMIT, XIGBAR!" Vexen sat up and reached over to tag the man in the back of the head. "I told you to not put that in there, but what do you do? YOU DID IT ANYWAYS!" That was the third lab in three months and he was getting tired of having to squeeze out new supplies from their rapidly depleting funds. Granted he made enough from his modified potions in town but they couldn't afford to build a new lab every month.

"I thought it would work." The man laughed as he rubbed the back of his head.

"No, you thought it would make a neat explosion!" Vexen sat up, dusting himself off. "Congratulations it worked." He could see the smoke start to dissipate in the hallway but as he caught sight of the garden from the window he felt all the blood drain from his face. Then his eyes widened when he heard a very masculine scream. "Oh god." He looked at Xigbar. "This is all your fault, you moron!" He grit his teeth.

Xigbar looked up at him confused. "We already confirmed that but why are you..."

"WHAT. DID. YOU. TWO. DO?"

Both men in question froze and turned, both wanting to run but stuck in place due to the intense aura of hate radiating off the man.

Vexen immediately pointed. "He did it!"

Xigbar looked at Vexen, his eye wide. "You backstabber!" He growled.

"Lab destroyer!" Vexen spat back.

"Kiss ass!"

"Wannabe pirate!"

"SILENCE!"

They both shut up, biting their lips.

Since the days of the organization that intense murderous aura that Marluxia radiated so well, the one that earned him his name the Graceful Assassin, had not been present. However there were times that it did emerge and it usually happened when something precious to him was destroyed or hurt. Vexen was one of these precious things, the garden was the other, and because of Xigbar the second thing had been damaged leaving the assassin in a foul and terrifying mood. "If you two are going to bicker then I got something you can do to work off that energy." He pointed. "Garden, now."

Vexen made a lame attempt at escaping whatever punishment Marluxia had in store for them. "But he's the one that mixed the chemicals. I didn't..." He was cut off by the intense glare he got from the man and swallowed.

Marluxia stormed back to the garden, followed by the reluctant two men.

Demyx watched the exchange, still confused but deciding that Xigbar would be very tired and very cranky after this. He smiled as they walked off. "Guess I'll have to think of a way to make it better." He muttered. Which was fun because he loved making Xigbar smile it seemed to make even his bad days go well.

In the garden Marluxia stood with his arms crossed looking at the disaster. "Well?" He growled.

Vexen and Xigbar looked at each other, neither sure what to say.

"Um, dude, we didn't mean to." Xigbar said. "We're sorry, really."

Marluxia looked at him, his brows raised. "I'm sorry, did you say something?" He was livid and it was obvious. "I don't want you to flap your gums, get on your hands and knees and start cleaning it up."

"WHAT?" Both men turned their nose up at the thought.

"You want us to play in the dirt?" Xigbar whined.

"It's too hot out." Vexen added. "I'll burn if I'm out in the sun too long."

Marluxia grinned. "Oh darling, I already thought of that." Marluxia produced, out of nowhere it seemed, a straw hat and tossed it to the man. "It'll suit you, and make sure you don't burn your pretty face. Now on your knees."

Vexen looked at the hat and then put it on, a look of shame on his face. "You know," He began.

Xigbar looked at him. "Hm?"

"I think that's the only time I will ever hear him say that and not be happy about it." He whimpered and the two walked past Marluxia to the mess they made.

Xigbar actually snickered a bit at the comment. "I never wanted to hear that from him." He retorted.

Demyx greeted Luxord at the door. "Hey." The blond boy said. "What brings you here, Luxy?" He gave a bright smile.

The Brit smiled back. "Hey, Dem, is Vexen here?" He figured the blond scientist was his best bet. He'd had the most trouble starting his own relationship so he was bound to have insights.

Demyx bit his lip. "He is...but...um he and Xigbar are in trouble."

Luxord raised brow. "What did they do now?"

"Wrecked part of Marluxia's garden." The boy responded as he let the man. In.

"Bloody hell, and they're still breathing?"

Demyx laughed and led him to the garden, explaining the activities earlier that day. In the garden Marluxia was sitting in a chair with some lemonade watching two men as they worked to pull the dead plants from the earth.

Luxord watched amused. Vexen's had on a straw hat and grumbled as he yanked the plants out. Xigbar had a bandanna that kept is hair from his face as he dug to replant in areas Vexen had cleaned out.

Demyx walked over to Marluxia and explained that Luxord needed to talk to Vexen. The assassin nodded. "Vexen, you can have a break." He said.

The blond sat up and turned around, seeing Luxord.

The Brit smirked. "That hat suits you." He snickered.

"Blow yourself." The man hissed as he got up and tossed the hat down. "I wanted to actually sleep tonight instead of roll around dying from sunburn." He walked over to the man. "What do you need?"

"I had some things I needed advice on and well, you're the best person to ask I think."

Vexen was a little surprised. "Okay then."

"Do you need help from me too?" Xigbar looked at him hopeful.

Luxord didn't even look at the man. "No."

"Aw, come on, why not?"

Luxord looked at the man. "Because you're a douche." He turned and walked with Vexen from the garden.

Xigbar actually grinned. "Touché." He laughed and went back to work before Marluxia threw something at him again.

Vexen stared at Luxord for a long moment. "So you want to know if I think it's a good idea?" He pointed to himself. He never would of thought anyone would come to him for relationship advice. The pair was sitting in the lab, the one that wasn't destroyed yet.

Luxord nodded. "It's just, you seemed like the best person to ask. You and Marluxia had a rough start and all so..."

The other blond sighed. "Luxord, things are a little different in our situation. It wasn't really the issue of him being male as well." He thought. "It crossed my mind but the real problem was actually caring about someone. In your case it's the issue on whether you really could love another man, right?"

"I guess." The Brit leaned back thinking.

"Let's say that Xaldin was a girl, would you have any doubt about jumping into a relationship then?"

"What?" Luxord looked at him. 'That's not even funny..."

"Just answer the question." Vexen said sternly. "Pretend it's Xaldin but a female, attractive in a feminine way, but you got along just the same. Would you date him?"

His blue eyes showed he was deep in thought trying to imagine the scenario. "Um...I guess so. I mean if he were exactly the same then yes."

Vexen nodded. "Okay, But he's not a girl, he's a man and you like him anyways, right?" He stared at Luxord a moment. The man was really thinking about this too much, however he wasn't one to talk. "Fine, if you think leaving for a while to straighten your head will help then do it, however, you have to be prepared for the consequences."

"Consequences?" Luxord perked up, confused.

"If you just go off on your own that's not going to just go unnoticed. Xaldin could take it hundreds of different ways, especially after the fight you two had last night." Vexen crossed his arms. "He could take it as a sign of ultimate rejection and give up on you. Maybe even find someone else as much as it would pain him. He could get depressed or angry or he could chase after you and corner you into answering him."

The Brit nodded. "I suppose that all could happen."

"If you can accept that any of those could happen then go. Take your time, figure out what you want and then come back when you're ready." He couldn't believe he was actually giving advice but even HE was getting tired of watching these two. It was ridiculous, even more so with these two. At least he and Marluxia had something of a relationship going even if the words "I love you" didn't get said till much later. He still was making things up to Marluxia, and after today he'd be making them up all night long it would seemed.

Luxord stood. "I think I'm going to go." He nodded to himself as if making the final choice. "I don't like things as they are and I can't keep from slipping up if I stay around. I want to figure out how I feel soon."

"Then take care." Vexen stood as well. "We'll keep an eye on him while your gone," he smirked, "just don't take to long. He's likely to get really depressed first." Xaldin, or Dilan, as Vexen remembered, always took rejections or failures hard. He put a lot of himself into things so when it didn't work out he as always hit really hard. He had no doubt the man would take Luxord leaving as some sign that he was being rejected and get very depressed. Of course he didn't tell Luxord that, the man was having enough troubles of his own.

"Thank you, Vexen." Luxord went to the door. "I'll let you get back to garden duty. Don't burn now." He grinned at him over his shoulder.

Vexen raised a brow. "I'll try not to." He crossed his arms as the man left. Stretching he sighed. "Well, back to the smoldering heat." He whined and went back outside, finding that Marluxia had kept his spot in the dirt exactly as he'd left it. Dammit.

Luxord arrived at the bar late, going for a walk to try and get his words right. He'd have to leave soon or else he'd second-guess himself. He had both Larxene and Vexen backing his decision but he wasn't sure if he was okay with it. However they couldn't stay like this forever. One of them would have to make some step otherwise another fight like last night would happen. He entered the bar, setting up the card table and beginning a game. He tried to not look at Xaldin but like always his eyes wandered and when he saw the Lancer looking back at him he felt like someone had just squeezed his heart. The man looked worried and even if he tried to pay attention to his customers it was obvious he couldn't look away from Luxord long. He wasn't much better off and thus the evening went. The constant stares made him worry about the talk later that night. He knew what he'd say he knew he could simply play it off as no big deal but he wasn't sure he could take the look he'd get for it. Xaldin had a way of making him weak in more ways then one.

At the end of the night he helped the others clean up and as usual he and Xaldin went up to their place.

"Lux, about...about last night," Xaldin started.  
He paused. "Don't worry about it. We were both...a little edgy I guess." He turned and smirked at him. "Guess its cause I've just felt cooped up here." He opened the door and went inside.

"Cooped up?" Xaldin followed him, a hint of worry in his voice.

"Yeah. I mean before the organization I liked to wander around, see and meet people. I haven't really gotten back to that and," He sighed and then laughed it off, "I'm thinking maybe my wandering soul id calling me."

Xaldin stared at him from the doorway. "So you...?"

"I was thinking I'd go away for a while, travel a little." He slipped off his tie. "I mean, you got Larxene to help with the bar so I'm sure you guys can make it a while without me." He started unbuttoning his sleeves, keeping his back to Xaldin.

"But I thought we all built this place together?" He walked into the room, his hand grabbing the sofa for some stability. What was going on?

Luxord looked at him. "I'll be back."

"When?" Xaldin's voice seemed strained as if for the first time the man who at one time struck fear into the hearts of most of the organization, he was unable to be strong.

He kept his mask on and shrugged. "A few months, maybe longer. When these moods hit me, well, they can last for a year or more at times." He turned, going to his room. "I was gonna leave tomorrow, but I'll send out the last of the orders before I leave town."

"Luxord?"

He had almost made it to the safety of his room but that voice, his hurt him to hear that voice sound that way. "Yeah?" He didn't look, couldn't or the game would be up.

"Tomorrow, I'll go with you to see you off." The sound of footsteps filled the silence of the room as Xaldin went to his room. "Just...don't run off without me."

"I won't." he said, his voice starting to strain. "Thanks for understanding."

"Yeah." It was barely a whisper and then a door shut.

Luxord spun around, seeing Xaldin's door closed and he assumed the man was inside. He almost wanted to call this whole thing off but...but...he needed to figure out what was going on in his heart and his head or things could get really bad later on. Xaldin deserved the best answer he could give. Steeling his nerves he went into his room and shut the door, but he barely slept. Tossing and turning in his bed he wondered what the hell he was going to do tomorrow when Xaldin saw him off. Would he be able to go? It was a gamble, and for once he didn't want to take it.

The following day Luxord woke up to find breakfast as usual. The pair ate in silence, neither knowing what to say. If Xaldin or Luxord had heard the other's heart though they would realize how tense each other felt. At the end of the meal they walked down to the local gummi ship garage. Due to some complications Cid didn't have any single ships in town but he had a few in Radiant Garden. Luxord decided he'd take the train there. Thus the pair ended up at the train station.

"One, please." He called to the ticket taker. Paying for it he wondered if maybe this really was a mistake. Xaldin and himself hadn't talked really. Turning he held up the ticket.

Xaldin nodded and turned to walk up to the platform. The train would arrive soon.

"Looks like this is it." He turned to Xaldin and grinned, trying to leave the man in a better mood.

The other man nodded. "Yeah."

He bit his lip and stared at the tracks. "Don't let too many woman at ya while I'm gone." He chuckled though it was forced. "I don't know how I'd feel if I came back and found you married or something."

"You never know." He said and looked at him. He tried to smile but it was obvious he was faking it.

Luxord wondered if Xaldin was aware at what a bad liar he was right now. "You take care of yourself while I'm gone, all right?" He patted his arm. "I'll try and stay in contact."

"You too." He replied. "Don't get into too much trouble."

The Brit smiled. "Sorry to have sprung this on you." He finally said, letting a hint of regret show.

"So long as the reason you're leaving isn't because of that fight." Now Xaldin looked worried. "I ...I don't want you to feel like I was trying to push you out I,"

Luxord held up a hand. "It's not the fight, Xaldin." He spoke firmly. "It's me. I...have to just be by myself right now." He could hear the train coming down the tracks. "This is me." He turned and saw as it started to pull into the station.

"Luxord!" Xaldin grabbed his arm.

He looked at him. "I'll come back, Xaldin." He smiled. "I promise. Don't worry." Then he slipped his arm free heading for the train. Don't look back. Don't look back. He could feel his heart pounding in his ears and held his bag tighter, trying to focus on just getting on the damned train. Once inside he watched as a few other passengers got on and heard the final call before the doors closed. This was it. Locked in the train he finally turned. He'd always heard the phrase, the one about a shattered heart. He always wondered if you could hear it or it was just some odd expression. At that moment everything went silent except for this sharp pain that rushed through his chest and for a moment he felt like he had made a mistake. Xaldin was looking at him, his guard completely down.

As if catching himself the man blinked and then gave a wave before turning to leave. He couldn't watch the person he loved leave him and firmly tried not to look back.

Luxord panicked, feeling the train start to move. No! Wait! He started moving down the car, wanting to keep the man in sight, to get his attention, to change his mind. With the train picking up speed he ran all the way to the back, slamming against the back door and watching the man leave his sight as the train left the station and the town behind. It was done. He'd left. He didn't understand how hard this would be. It was painful, even if he understood the reason he had to go away for a while, even if he knew he'd come back. How could this feeling be anything else but genuine?

Xaldin gave a heavy sigh, leaning on a wall. Even if the man had said their fight wasn't the cause he couldn't just believe it. He'd messed up and the man was gone. Would he come back? Did he really have no chance? It seemed so silly that he'd hoped so much and when he could have stopped the man, told him he froze, caught by that assured smile when Luxord said he'd come back. Reaching in his pocket he felt the card there. He'd grabbed it this morning, determined to tell the man they had met before. However he chickened out...again! At some point he managed to make it home but called Larxene and asked her to close the bar for the day. Looking at his phone he dialed a number.

"Hello?" said a sharp voice.

"Vexen?" He muttered.

There was a pause and then the man spoke. "What happened?"

"He left," Was all he could say before he broke down.

On the other end Vexen hung up and sighed.

"What?" Marluxia perked up fro t he table.

"We...have to go see Xaldin." The blond said, looking at his lover. He'd been expecting this and only hoped that when Luxord came back he would get it through his stupid head that he loved Xaldin and then fix this damned mess.


	3. Chapter 3

**Part 3: The Card**

"Xaldin, please tell me you lost your balls somewhere because you're acting like such a pussy!" Xigbar flopped down on the couch next to him.  
The man sighed. "I know. I just...dammit, why didn't I stop him?" He laid back on the rest of the couch, staring at the ceiling.

Vexen sat in a chair across from them. "Well, maybe it's good you both get some distance. When he comes back you can maul him to death and we don't have to deal with your crap anymore." He sipped a drink that Marluxia had poured him. The assassin and Demyx were in the kitchen getting drinks and food ready for Xaldin's consolation get together.

"Oh you're one to talk, Vex." Xigbar snorted.

Vexen didn't dignify that with words but with his middle finger in the air.

"Hey, hey, you can't just go making such requests of people that ARE NOT your boyfriend." Marluxia grinned and set down the plate of food before sitting on the arm on the chair.

Vexen smirked at him and pulled the man into his lap. "Sorry."

The other man just grinned at him then looked at Xaldin. "So I take it this is your first time being head over heels." He didn't know the man as well as the other two but personal experience told him that had to be the case since the usually confident man lacked it right now.

Xaldin looked at him, growled and rolled so he was facing the couch and had his back to them.

Xigbar sighed. "Look, I know it's scary and all but you need to man-up and say something or you two will never get over this speed bump."

"But what if he never comes back?" Xaldin muttered.

"He will." Vexen sighed. "Trust me."

"But when?" He rolled back over to look at them.

All of them shrugged, not sure. Knowing Luxord he wouldn't be able to last that long...they didn't think.

"Got the drinks." Demyx set down the glasses and bottles then sat next to Xigbar. "Are you going to be okay, Xaldin?" He asked concerned.

"O he'll be fine, little dude." Xigbar looped an arm over his shoulder, looking at Xaldin he grinned. "How's about we drink tonight and forget about all the drama?"

The Lancer looked at him and then sat up. "Yeah, that sounds good." He sighed and reached for a glass, filling it to the brim with liquor.

Vexen sighed. "Looks like I'm drinking to." He muttered as the man filled them all a glass.

"Xaldin, before we start, I'm sorry about puking on your floor." Marluxia grinned as a grabbed a glass.

"Yeah, sure...wait, you puked on my floor?" He looked at him appalled.

"No, but after tonight I'm sure I will." He grinned and took the shot, sucking in a breath as he slid the glass over to get refilled. "Oh and I'm sorry if Vexen pukes on your floor too."

"Your face." The blond muttered and took his shot, groaning as Marluxia filled it as soon as he set the glass down.

"I hope he comes back soon." Xaldin sighed taking another drink. He wasn't sure he could deal with being apart. He swore that he would make a move if the man came back, he definitely would at least do something.

The next morning around noon Larxene unlocked the door and peeked inside. She'd been worried Xaldin wouldn't be taking this well and wanted to make sure he at least got out of bed. What she found was quite a sight. All the boys were passed out around the living room, the alcohol smell wafting off them like a dumpster heap. Good grief." She sighed grabbing bag to dump the empty bottles in. "It's gonna be a long week."

Day 1

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Day 10

The days seemed to just mash together. He'd wake up, get dressed and wander around. Sometimes he played poker and won some money, sometimes he'd just wander around, sit and think until he realized the day was over. Luxord felt like he did back before the Organization. He would just let the days pass him by, time didn't matter to him. He'd spend more time watching everyone else live their lives other than living his own. He found it ironic he gained such a power when he became a Nobody. However, now he was just wondering how long he should wait. He tried to see if he could sense a change in his feelings but if anything they just got more and more intense. He was missing Xaldin terribly, his laugh, his voice, his smile, all of it he missed. Sighing he stood up from the docks and went back to the inn.

He had spent the first week in London, wandering around, and then moved on to Port Royal this week. A week and a half since he'd left Traverse Town and he felt like it had been months. Heading into the inn he was stopped by one of the usual girls.

"Luxy, honey, are you going to join in the game tonight?" She smiled and laid a hand on his shoulder.

"No, I'm feeling a bit ill tonight." He smiled weakly. "I'm just gonna turn in early."

"Do you need some company?" She winked.

He gave her his most gentlemanly smile and removed her hand from his shoulder. "Wouldn't be much of a man if I got you ill as well, love." He patted her hand and went upstairs, not looking back to see if she was giving him a dirty look. He'd been fighting them off since he got here. He didn't need any of them to make him feel better. In fact the realization that he would much rather have Xaldin make him feel better was startling. He'd had the dreams but consciously thinking of doing that was a little alarming and unsettling. He missed him, terribly. Taking out his phone he sat on the bed and leaned back on the headboard, flipping through the thing at messages and photos. "I don't remember taking this many photos." He said opening the folder. Larxene must have gotten a hold of it, considering some pictures had both him and Xaldin in them. He smiled at them, feeling his gut tighten with each one. In many photos he wasn't really paying attention, usually doing some task and Xaldin next to him would be looking at him. Seeing those expressions that he wasn't supposed to made him start to feel a very tight nauseating feeling in his throat.

"What the hell am I doing?" he mumbled and then went to the messages and began to type one out to Xaldin. All he could type was, "I miss you." Smirking he sighed. "I shouldn't send it. It'll just confuse him." He sighed and clicked the button, staring for a moment before sitting up and staring at his phone. "Shit, I hit send!" Scrambling he got up, looking at his phone like it was lying then cursed again when it had informed him the message had been sent. "What do I do? What do I do?" He paced, debating. He could just hope it somehow magically wouldn't get to his phone, or maybe he should just go back and play if off as a joke. It didn't take him long to decide he had to go back and somehow make it no big deal. He'd spent long enough away after all. His feelings weren't any better, if anything they were more intense and he knew this couldn't be just some silly crush. Packing quickly he left the inn and headed for the Gummi ship, hoping it wouldn't take him long to get back home.

"One more round!" Xaldin slurred and then sagged against Xigbar.

The man rolled his eye. "Yeah, as soon as you can lift your own head, we'll do that." He muttered, then looped the man's arm over his shoulder and lifted him off the stool. "Can someone help me?" He looked at the others. He wasn't a very big man and Xaldin was a giant compared to him.

Marluxia got around the other side and started heading for Xaldin's place.

"Larxene, can you close up?" Vexen asked as he made sure Xaldin didn't leaned completely on Xigbar.

"Yeah, sure thing." She sighed and got to closing up. The past week and a half they had come to the bar, stayed a few hours after closing to drink with Xaldin then carry his drunken ass upstairs to go to bed. Mildly concerned someone would always stay over to make sure the man didn't try and hang himself in the bathroom, slip and end up cracking his skull on the counter or something equally ridiculous. Once they had the man in bed Vexen saw them to the door. He had lost the coin toss tonight and was stuck on guard duty.

"I'll save you a spot in bed when you come back in the morning." Marluxia purred, kissing him.

The blond pouted a little into the kiss. "I'd much rather warm it up with you." He muttered back.

"Oh would you two knock it off. I'm tired and wanna go home?" Xigbar held Demyx close, the night air getting cooler as it got close to Christmas.

Marluxia glared at them. "Then start walking now, I'm busy." He hissed and proceeded to nuzzle at Vexen's mouth until he finally said goodnight and the three left to go back to the castle. The blond sighed, shut the door and went to check on Xaldin one more time before sitting on the couch to read a little. He'd sleep tomorrow; he didn't like the idea of sleeping alone much anymore.

He parked the Gummi Ship at Cid's, checked it in and then raced home. He wasn't sure what to say but he decided to just laugh it off as something nonchalant. Of course he wasn't sure he could keep this up for much longer. He was getting restless himself and when he saw Xaldin there was no telling what he would do. Getting to the door he unlocked it and went in, to find Vexen sitting on the couch.

The scientist looked up, blinked and then closed his book. "Thank god. He's all yours." He grabbed his coat.

"Wait, why are you here?" he asked confused.

"I'm here, because I lost in the coin toss to babysit your would be lover tonight. He's drunk in his room, so have fun." Vexen headed for the door.

"Wait what?" Luxord followed after him, still confused.

The other blond spun around and poked him in the chest. "I said there would be repercussions to you leaving, did I not?" he raised a brow. "He's been a mess since you left so please get your head out of your ass and do something. I'm going home, getting into my bed with my boyfriend, and ravaging him, good day." He shut the door behind him and left.

Luxord still stood totally flabbergasted. Finally getting out of the entryway, he set down his things and then walked quietly to Xaldin's room. Peaking inside he saw the man totally passed out on the bed. Had Xaldin really been that depressed? It broke his heart a little and he went in, walking over softly. The man had his back to Luxord, the smell of alcohol strong. It was hard to imagine Xaldin, who seemed like rock, being a total mess just because of him. He saw the man's cell phone on the nightstand and grabbed up, flipping it open. The "new message" screen was up and he clicked it to see his text message. Xaldin must have not of heard it, or been too drunk to care. Again he felt guilty but he deleted the message. As he went to set the phone down he paused. There was a card on the nightstand, a playing card. Picking it up it took him a moment to realize that it was quite old and yet still in good condition. Flipping it over the pattern on the back was undeniable and he reached in his pocket, pulling out his incomplete deck. "No way" He muttered, swallowing the lump in his throat. This was the card missing from his deck, the card he'd given away to... He looked at Xaldin and it was like the memory clicked in his brain. The boy's face, his voice, that smirk it was undeniably Xaldin and he felt like he'd just gotten a bitch slap from Fate itself. "Bloody hell." He smiled, laughing a little weakly as he set the card down again. No wonder he had drawn that card that time on the train for Xaldin. It was the same person, the person he had given the one card from his deck to. Why had he been running so much? It was like he was just waiting for something but how long till it was the right moment? Xaldin was right here, had missed him, and now he found that card. Taking off his shoes he crawled onto the other side of the bed and lay on his side facing Xaldin. He stared at the man a long while. In the morning, he'd see how they were with each other and then tomorrow sometime they would talk. Closing his eyes he reached over and took the man's hand, feeling the warmth of it and smiling.

"Ngh..." Xaldin shifted a little and squeezed his hand back.

He wasn't too worried. The man was probably too drunk to know exactly what was going on. He fell asleep shortly after, lying next to him.

Marluxia was half asleep when he felt a warm familiar body slide into bed next to him. Opening his eyes he smiled and nuzzled closer. "Is it morning already?' he asked, kissing his neck.

"Luxord showed up." He said, cuddling close.

"Oh really? Did you bitch him out?" He chuckled, still kissing his neck and moving up to his ear.

"More or less. He better do something or I'm going to kill him." He growled, but shivered at the kisses.

The assassin smirked and licked his ear. "Oh, you were just as bad. Go easy on him." His hand ran down the man's chest, teasing the skin.

Vexen smiled and gave a sigh that was half way between exasperated and really turned on. It was hard having a serious conversation with someone when said person was the object of your affections and a master at seduction. Of course that sexy prowess of Marluxia's was what had eventually worn him down in the first place. "I'll think about it, now bring your mouth over here." He demanded and slid his fingers in the mass of Marluxia's kinky pink hair, pressing their lips together. He never got tired of kissing him. He knew they probably were sickeningly mushy to others but after putting it off for so long he didn't give a damn. He had never given a damn what other people thought and he wasn't going to start now, especially when he knew he loved the other so much.

Groaning, Marluxia rolled on top of Vexen, his hands running down the blond's thin side, over his wide, boney and sexy hips. People could say what they wanted but to him Vexen was a beautiful person, not just physically but mentally. He always had a way of saying exactly what needed to be said, and when it was intimate conversation it always left him a little flustered and breathless. He had already made the made the commitment to always stay with the man when he chose to pursue him, had learned of his past and fear of loving anyone ever again. It was why he would do whatever it took to let him know that every day.

Gasping, Vexen held onto Marluxia, his body so warm he thought he'd melt." Go...slower..." he panted.

Trying to hold back, Marluxia struggled to breathe himself, pressing his face into Vexen's neck, smelling his scent, feeling the heat radiate from his skin. Only when he held him did Marluxia feel the heat from the other. Normally Vexen was cold but in his arms he was the hottest thing he'd ever felt. He shuddered, unable to hold on and forced himself deeper into the other, crying out. He felt Vexen spasm in his arms and held him tighter, shivering. Slumping against him he could feel his heart pounding, or was that Vexen? He wasn't sure anymore.

"I love you." Said the other, the voice so much warmer and softer than it was during the day. It was a tone that he got to hear often and only in the sanctity of their room.

Smiling Marluxia nuzzled his ear again, his heart racing. "I love you too."

He felt like he'd been hit by a bus. His head was pounding and the sun was really annoying as he glared through the curtains in his window. Rolling on his back he groaned and slowly tried to wake up. He needed to stop this. Drinking himself to death every night wasn't going to make the pain go away and it wasn't going to bring Luxord back. He had to just suck it up. Sighing he heard some banging around in the kitchen. He wondered vaguely who got stuck watching him this time and knew he needed to thank and apologize to all of them for dealing with his crap. Yawning he went into the bathroom to brush his teeth and wash his face.

Finally he managed to head toward the kitchen, pausing at the door and wondering f he was still drunk.

Luxord was busy frying up some eggs and turned when he heard the creaking of the wood floor. "Morning." He grinned.

"Morning." He said then stared at him a moment. "When did you get back?" He was almost in shock. He'd just decided he would have to deal with the man being gone and now here he was, acting like he'd never left. It made the past week and a half feel like a bad dream.

He turned and went back to cooking. "Early this morning. Vexen left when I showed up." He didn't tell him it was very very early this morning and until just about an hour ago they'd been in the same bed. "I hear you've been partying real hard since I left." He looked at him and grinned.

Rubbing the back of his neck he gave a sheepish grin. "Well, we...were all just kinda catching up and all." He looked around the kitchen and then his eyes rested back on Luxord. "Welcome back." He finally said.

Luxord stopped, setting the cooked eggs on a couple of plates and handed one to Xaldin. "It's good to be home." He said, unable to really hide his feeling sin that grin. He had missed the man, and to know Xaldin missed him just as bad was good to know.

He was a little thrown off by the grin, and the comment but he took the plate and the pair went to go sit down and eat, relaying their days they were apart to one another minus many details.

Later that day they went down to the bar, it looking the same as always. The bottles behind the bar were getting low so they started switching them out with some new stock. Larxene had gone out to get some of their orders, giving Luxord a welcome back hug before frolicking off. Luxord had seen her wink as she left and wondered if wanted him to take that as a sign to do something. He wasn't sure what to do though. Things seemed normal between them, maybe they were a little closer, the possibility hovering in the air. He could tell Xaldin was much more attentive than before, staying close to him and he really didn't mind. In fact he felt the urge to be closer and shivered a little as their arms brushed together when he reached to get a bottle. "So how's the Oblivion crew?" He asked.

"The same." Xaldin grinned. "Disgustingly cute." He laughed and set up a bottle on a higher shelf before turning to set up some glasses.

Luxord grinned. "Well, you can't expect them to be much different. After all they're all like newlyweds anyways." He had a hint of longing in his voice giving away his desire to share that feeling.

Xaldin actually picked up on it and turned to him.

The blond reached up to set a bottle on a higher shelf, realizing he wasn't nearly tall enough and his hand slipped.

"Watch it!" Reacting quickly the bigger man pressed himself against Luxord's back and forced the man against the case as the bottle fell, barely missing Xaldin and crashing to the ground.

"Damn. Sorry. I guess I shouldn't stalk the top shelf." He laughed a little, though he felt his heart racing at the closeness.

"Yeah." Xaldin said a little breathlessly. "You okay?" He leaned back a little.

Luxord shifted his body to look at him. "Yeah, I'm..." Whoa, had they ever been this close to each other before? He stared at Xaldin, his voice catching in his throat. Those eyes, it was like they new what he was thinking.

Xaldin felt the same, staring back. Maybe it was the small bit of hope he had from hearing Luxord a few moments before or maybe it was because he was tired of holding back. Swallowing hard he leaned forward, the heat from the other becoming more apparent.

The blond's heart raced but instead of reacting how Xaldin expected him to he began to close his eyes, feeling the man get closer to him, waiting for that contact he wanted so much.

"I'm back! Man you guys wouldn't believe the deals I got I..." Larxene saw them and froze. OH DAMMIT! She cursed herself.

At the first interruption of her voice Xaldin had jumped back and was leaning back against the bar, looking in the direction of the door. Luxord did the same and their guilt at being caught was written all over their faces.

Larxene wanted to kick herself. "Never mind, um...I'm just gonna go in the back and find something to kill myself with." She headed for the back. Oh god they better continue when she was gone.

Xaldin looked at Luxord and the Brit looked back. "I...gotta get some of the books done so..."

"Yeah, I need to get the poker table ready." He lowered his head, his face red and quickly slunk by him. His heart was still racing, the moment may have been ruined but there was nothing he could do to deny what was going to happen. He hadn't pushed Xaldin away, hadn't wanted to.

The other man watched him a moment, then escaped to the office, wondering what the hell was going on. He couldn't be positive but he was going to kiss him and Luxord hadn't tried to stop him so...what did that mean? Was that a sign that he had a shot? He couldn't tell but he was going to ask him tonight when they closed the bar.

That night the others came to the bar and Larxene told them what she'd walked in on. They were half way between excited and pissed, watching the two all night. Xaldin kept looking at Luxord and Luxord at Xaldin. Sometimes they would catch each other in a stare and turn away quickly. It was just annoying as hell really. However it was obvious hat they had hit a breaking point and it was only a matter of time before someone caved. They had money on Xaldin. The man kept checking his watch, and then would look at Luxord before serving a customer. At the end of the night Larxene offered to finish up and told them to go enjoy the rest of their evening, claiming Xaldin looked tired from last night's drinking and Luxord needed to rest after his trip. They didn't argue, but they were tense going back up to their place. After some awkward conversation they went to their rooms, Luxord feeling like he was going to explode. He should just go over and talk to him, tell him the whole thing and get it over with. It was obvious what they both wanted so why fight it. He was in the process of working himself up when he heard a knock on his door. "Yeah?"

Xaldin opened the door and peeked in. "Hey." He smiled.

"Hey." He answered back, his throat getting tight.

"Can I come in?"

"Y...yeah." He sat down on his bed, watching him intently. Was this it?

Xaldin came in, closing the door behind him. Grabbing a chair he pulled it over to the bed and sat across from him. He stared at the Brit for a while before titling his head and sighing. "We...need to talk."

It was like everything went silent and he nodded. "I agree."


	4. Chapter 4

**Part 4: Thinking About It**

They sat looking at each other for a while. Luxord wasn't sure what to say and Xaldin seemed to be debating what to say.

"Look about...earlier...in the bar..." Xaldin bit his lip and paused again.

Finally the blond spoke. "That was...uh..."

"I was going to kiss you." Xaldin finally said, looking at him. "Lux, I...I've had feelings for you, for a long time now." He looked so intense saying it, a mixture of excitement and fear in his eyes.

He nodded. "Yeah?" He wasn't even sure what he was supposed to say. He knew it, had heard him say it but now he was talking to him, looking right at him and it made it that much more real.

"Yeah, and I...I know you...you aren't that way but I..." He was having trouble getting this out, keeping his voice steady but before in the bar they had, he was sure that Luxord was going to let him. "If you could just give me a chance, consider it, then...it would really mean a lot to me." He clasped his hands in his lap, trying to keep himself steady. "I won't force anything on you, I'll keep my hands to myself until you let me know one way or the other."

He nodded, still staring at him like a deer in the headlights. Consider it? What was there to consider? He felt the same, wanted the same things.

"If you decide no then I'll back off and we'll stay friends, all right? I would much rather have you as a friend than not at all." He looked back up at him, as if asking him for some sort of reply.

His brain was screaming at him to make a move, to say he felt the same and stop this stalemate, however his mouth wasn't taking orders from his head or heart and instead he muttered, "I'll think about it."

That was all it took. Xaldin's eyes lit up a little and he smiled faintly. "Really?"

Finally he snapped out of his daze. "Yeah, really." He smiled back. What was he doing? He needed to just tell him now!

"Okay." He stood up. "Then, I'll...I'll see you in the morning then." Xaldin seemed to step a little towards the door. "Goodnight."

Luxord nodded. "Goodnight." A few moments after the door shut and Xaldin was gone he laid back on his bed cursing his name. "I'll think about it? Oh my god what is wrong with me?" He rolled on his side wondering how the hell he had managed to mess that up, especially when his chance had been right there?"

"YOU SAID WHAT? YOU'LL THINK ABOUT IT?" Larxene thundered, slamming her glass on the table. The other cafe patrons all stared at them.

Luxord hung his head in shame, covering his face with a hand. "I know. I KNOW!" He whimpered back. "I just...I was right there and I opened my mouth to tell him and instead that came out."

"Well, you need to march your ass over to the bar and tell him you thought about it and you want to jump his bones, because once I tell Vexen and the others this they are going to kill you." She couldn't believe this. It was like some damn soap opera.

"It doesn't mean nothing will happen though." He looked at her hopeful. "I mean we talked and it's out there. All we have to do is wait for an opportune moment and then I'll bring it up and there you have it." He clapped his hands and smiled.

"Uh-huh." She raised a brow. "Well, YOU better do something soon then. The ball is in your court now. Xaldin has made his move and he's waiting for yours." She stood up. "Just don't take your sweet time and break his heart, okay?"

He stood as well, a little concerned. "Was he really that bad when I left?"

"He thought for sure that you had caught on and ran off because you didn't want a to deal with him. Then he thought you had met someone. It changed daily and he was a mess, a huge mess. So please just stop screwing around already." She leaned near him. "Please promise me you'll tell him soon."

He nodded. "I will. I just need a good time to."

"Well you better." She pouted. "I'm tired of keeping your secret for you. It's damned annoying."

"You could have told him already.' He smirked.

"And miss out on all this fun?" She gave him a sarcastic grin. "Never."

Luxord was out getting a few things for the bar when he saw a familiar face. The pink hair was really unmistakable. "Marluxia?"

The man turned to him surprised and then grinned. "Hey."

"What are you doing here," he looked around, "And without your pissy, blond half?"

The assassin laughed. "He's busy in his lab actually. Besides he can't be with me today for a good reason." He winked and started walking down the street.

Luxord fell into step beside him. "Why's that?"

Marluxia shrugged. "Because I'm picking up his Christmas present of course."

The Brit wasn't sure what to make of that but decided to tag along, seeing as he was headed in the same direction. "So...there's gonna be some sort of shindig at the castle on Christmas Eve, right?"

Marluxia nodded. "Yes, as far as I know everyone is coming." He looked at him. "Even those two." He grinned.

Luxord had a pretty good idea who he meant. It would be odd since they'd heard nothing from them since after the whole fiasco a few months back. "And Axel?"

"He's still asleep. I doubt he's waking up any time soon either. Vexen has poked and jabbed him with every needle he could, tested him for god knows what and still nothing." He sighed and smiled. "But he's ever vigilant and I'm sure he'll keep testing till he either runs out of conditions and diseases of the jerk wakes up."

He nodded. "I can see that being the case. Demyx, still drawing on his face?"

"Yeah, he's got a funny mustache on today." He laughed and made a face, reaching up as if he was pulling on a mustache al la Snidely Whiplash.

The blond laughed. "So, what is this present you're getting?" He saw the shop come into view.

"You'll see, but you can't say anything." He looked at him sternly. "I've managed to keep it from him for months and will not have it ruined, got it?"

"I will say nothing." He held up his hands in surrender.

With a nod the pink haired man headed into the shop. It was an odd little shop that looked more like a fortuneteller's shop than anything. A girl with red hair looked up at their entry. Marluxia looked at her. "Are they ready?"

She smiled and pulled out a box from under the counter. "They weren't easy to make but the sizes should be appropriate." She opened the box.

"They're perfect." Marluxia smiled.

Luxord leaned over him and into the box, his eyes widening at the contents. "You can't be bloody serious! Are those...?"

"Yup." He handed her the money and closed the box. "Think he'll like them?"

The Brit thought a moment and nodded. "I think so."

"Thanks, Shelke." Marluxia looked at the girl and turning he headed out of the shop.

"Any time." She called after him then sighed, going into the back to poke at a long dark haired man who was napping bundled in his red cloak.

Saying goodbye to Marluxia, Luxord finished his errands and headed back to the bar. Feeling somewhat inspired by the assassin he had a good outlook as he went to work. He wasn't going to rush this; he would wait for the opportune moment and make his move.

Vexen stood up from the rubble of what had been a perfectly good table. His eye twitched and for a moment he wanted to pretend it had all been a very bad dream.

Xigbar stood up next to him. "Heh...oops."

"Oops?" Vexen looked at him. At least this time only half a lab was ruined but because Xigbar had this need to try and make some sort of combustible fluid that would react when faced with some stimulant he was making a huge mess.

Xigbar looked at him and then his eye went wide. "Uh...Vexen...um...your...your hair."

He furrowed his brow then noticed the wisps in his eyes that shouldn't be there, Feeling around he found a few long strands here and there but more or less it was all short, the ends singed off. "Oh you SO did not just do that." He hissed.

"Are you two blowing stuff up with again?" Marluxia walked in and saw the mess, and then he saw Vexen. "Oh my god, Vexen, your hair?"

The blond looked at Xigbar, still somewhere between killing him and just saying to hell with it all.

"XIGBAR!" The assassin hissed.

"Hey, my hair is fine." The man said then grinned. "But thanks for caring."

"DEATH!" He summoned his scythe.

"Hey, it's not my fault!" The man yelped then ran for it, ducking and weaving as Marluxia chased him out of the lab.

Sighing Vexen sat down, when he heard the chair crack he cursed. "Shit." He hit the floor and lay on his back, his pride hurting more than his ass right now. "I hate my life some days."

A few hours later found Xigbar hanging upside down in the garden, the man begging anyone to release him, and Marluxia trimming up the last of the frayed strands of Vexen's hair. "There, it looks decent now." He said putting down the scissors. It was really just a shorter more layered version of his usual style. In fact Marluxia thought it looked a lot like he had worn it as a child, of course the only memory he had of seeing Vexen as a child was the time they were caught in the darkness.

Vexen looked at a mirror. "It'll do." He sighed and leaned back against Marluxia. "We should go cut Xigbar down." He muttered.

"Let him hang out for a little longer." Marluxia said, holding him close. "What has he been trying to do anyways?"

The blond shrugged. "I think it has something to do with Demyx's Christmas present but I can't be sure. He never makes sense sometimes." He glanced over and saw the bag. "What did you get?"

"Just a few things for around the castle." He lied, kicking the bag under the bed. "How about a nice hot bath?" He grinned.

Vexen looked up and smiled back. "Is this one of those baths that I will leave dirtier then when I got in?" He raised a knowing brow.

"Maaaaaaay-beeeee." Marluxia said nonchalantly, not looking at him.

"Marluxia is gonna be mad I let you down." Demyx said as he tossed the rope aside.

Xigbar stood up, adjusting his clothes. His head hurt from hanging upside down so long. "He'll get over it. Besides they probably would have left me there all night." He shrugged. "It's just hair."

Demyx laughed. "So you'd be okay if Vexen burned your hair off?"

"What? NO!" He looked at him then thought about it. "Oh, I see your point."

The blond laughed and took his hand. "So Christmas is coming soon." He said cutely.

"Yeah?" The man grinned.

Demyx shifted a little then looked all over the garden before turning back to him. "What did'ja get me?"

The scarred man laughed and looped an arm around his neck, pulling him close and giving him a quick kiss, "That is a secret." He then kissed his nose. "What did you get me?"

Demyx smiled wider. "That's a secret."

They both laughed and went back inside, neither bringing it up again. It was the first Christmas that Xigbar would spend with a lover, one he was going to make special. His gift was something he knew Demyx would like, one that he knew no one else had done.

Sadly the opportune time Luxord was hoping for didn't come and soon a couple weeks had already passed. Sure they had some good conversations and he had almost made the move a few times but something always got in the way. He was depressed, discouraged and completely out of his element. He had tried even tempting Xaldin, falling asleep on the couch, leaned closer to him when they were sitting near each other. However Xaldin was like some sort of saint and stayed true to his word.

Xaldin was actually dying inside and wondered if Luxord was just really shy or was trying to find a way to let him down easy. Christmas Eve was tomorrow and they were all supposed to go to Castle Oblivion. He had hoped that he and Luxord could go "together" but it seemed like a far off dream at this point. Making lunch he sighed, wondering if he should just get it over with and at least kiss the man. Hell maybe things would go well. Yes, he'd do that, as soon as he came home he would bring he subject up again.

Due to the overwhelming amount of time Luxord was taking the others were at the coffee shop staring at him. "Luxord, it's not a freakin space shuttle launch, you have to MAKE an opportune time dammit!" Larxene pounded the table.

"I know." He sighed, staring at his tea.

"What exactly is the hold up, I thought you two talked already?" Vexen said, blowing his bangs out of his face. He still wasn't used to them.

"I...I don't know. I've tried, but then I clam up or something goes wrong and I...I'm sorry." He sagged in his chair.

"Look, Lux, you have kept him waiting for months, he finally makes his feelings known and you clam up, then you have two weeks to fix it and you drag your feet. Do you really like him back or not?" Xigbar looked at him with doubt on his face.

That made the Brit jump up. "Of course I do! I was practically killing myself while I went away, I missed him so bad."

"Then just go tell him that." Marluxia said sighing. "Geez, I would have killed to have had such an easy chance." He looked at Vexen. "No offense."

"None taken." He smirked. "Luxord, if Xaldin was a girl, what would you do?"

"Not this again." The man sighed and leaned on the table.

"Yes, this again. Answer the damned question." The scientist growled.

Luxord thought about it. "I suppose I would just track him...her down and take her in my arms and kiss her, then tell her how I felt."

"Then what's stopping you from doing that now?" Vexen asked.

"Well nothing I just..." He paused, and then looked at all of them. It was like it clicked in his brain. He'd been trying to make this too complicated. He and Xaldin were both in this together; there was no doubt about feelings. He just needed to do what a man should and take charge. He got up and ran for the door, pausing and coming back. "I didn't pay for my,"

"JUST GO!" They all screamed shooing him away.

He grinned and them then bolted from the shop. Racing down the street he felt his heart racing, his nerves on end. All this time he should have done this. He had tried to take on the role of the woman in this because he wasn't really sure what to do; however that wasn't the case. They were both chasing each other and so far he'd let Xaldin do all the chasing, now it was his turn. He should have done this the moment he'd found that card. It was fate, it had to be and he'd been turning his back on it, but not any more. He took the stairs up to their place two at a time. When he got to the door he fumbled around with his keys trying to unlock it. "Bloody open." He hissed and got the lock to click. Flinging the door open he raced in, kicked off his shoes and shutting the door behind him. He didn't stop for even a moment.

Xaldin heard the banging around and started to come out of the kitchen, having just finished his lunch. "Luxord?" He saw the man round the corner. "What's the..." The force had him slamming back against the wall near the entry to the kitchen his arms full of the man and then the heat welled up in him and he moaned.

When Luxord all but flung himself against Xaldin, nothing else was in his mind except not stopping till he had made his feelings clear. The kiss was completely different then the one he'd snuck in before. At first he felt the heat course through him followed by a ripple of sensations that had his hands shaking. Clinging to him he groaned and pressed harder against him. Xaldin's hands on his back pushed harder on him and he felt his breath catch in his throat. Nothing could have prepared him for this, this feeling, the sensations and the feeling of passing out by the sheer overwhelming intensity of it all.

Xaldin wasn't really sure what to think but having Luxord in his arms, kissing him like this was like some dream. Moaning he pulled him closer, deepening the kiss.

He gasped and finally pulled back. "Wait...wait." He pulled away panting, his cheeks flushed and eyes glossy. Staring at Xaldin he could see the man was just as overwhelmed as himself.

Confused and flustered he licked his lips. "What?"

The Brit shook his head then stepped back. "Hold on." He ran over and grabbed a deck of cards, taking them from the package and held them out so they were facing Xaldin. "Pick one...again." He said knowingly, seeing the recognition in Xaldin's eyes. "This time think about what card I would be."

The other man looked at him then the cards. He really had a million questions but right now that could wait. He reached out and pulled the first card that felt right. He pulled it near him looking at the man.

Luxord stared back, knowing what card it should be but if Xaldin picked the right one was a mystery. "Okay."

Slowly he turned the card to reveal it.

Time seemed to stop, and not in the normal way it did for Luxord, everything went silent except for the flutter of cards to the ground and a couple footsteps before the blond was smashed back up against Xaldin.

Xaldin groaned and the card slipped from his fingers, fluttering to the ground. Beside their feet it was the only one to land face up right next to the Jack of Hearts.

It wasn't his smoothest moment. In fact he was bumbling around as they attempted to peel clothes off. Groaning with each kiss he thought he'd end up melting from the heat. Xaldin almost tripped as he stepped back and finally he wrapped his arms around Luxord and just rolled back onto the bed. Pinning the blond under him he worked hastily at his pants before pausing. "Lux?"

Luxord stared at him, totally in a daze from it all.

"Are you sure?"

He furrowed his brows then gave the man a look, "Are you bloody serious?" He asked. "PANTS! OFF! NOW!"

Xaldin was startled by that and then grinned before claiming his mouth again and working his pants open. He felt like all the pain and suffering and frustration was worth it. Luxord was in his arms, accepting him, wanting him and all he could do was not hold back.

The blond moaned and arched up against him, gasping when he felt Xaldin's thumbs loop into the band of his pants and tug on them. His heart was racing and he was nervous but it didn't matter. He'd made Xaldin wait for so long because he was too stupid and scared to just admit to his feelings.

Skimming his moth along the man's jaw, Xaldin worked down his next, sucking on the skin and leaving a small possessive bruise before kissing along his collarbone. "Luxord." He breathed, his head swimming in the pure ecstasy of tasting his skin.

He panted in response, his body unable to hide his arousal and his overwhelming need for the man. It was a little jarring really, to feel so exposed. Not once had he felt more naked in his life than right now and yet the safest he had ever been. "Xaldin."

The pants came off and Xaldin pulled away to look at him, seeing the man stare back. He hadn't a doubt in his mind at that point that this wasn't something Luxord wanted too. How long had he felt like this?

Luxord reached up, pulling Xaldin back to his mouth, one hand attempting to finish undressing the man. His hands shook from both fear and excitement. He hadn't realized how much he'd been holding his desires in and as his fingers ran over Xaldin's skin, felt the heat along his hips and he pushed off his jeans he understood why Vexen and Marluxia couldn't keep their hands off each other, why Demyx and Xigbar always smiled. How could anyone who felt this not act that way? With their naked bodies flush against one another he gasped, everything becoming so real and yet so much like a dream.

Xaldin kissed him as his hands lipped along his side, cradling the blond's hip before slowly working around him.

The Brit gasped, crying out when he felt Xaldin's hand touch him. His cheeks flushed and he closed his eyes, feeling embarrassed.

"You okay?" Xaldin whispered in his ear, touching him gently.

"Yeah." He panted. "Keep going." He began to tremble at the touches and swallowing the lump in his throat reached to touch Xaldin. When he heard the raw moan from the man it just made the stimulation more intense and soon he was making sounds he never thought he would. "Xaldin...Xaldin..." he clung to him.

"Hold on." He rasped, breaking away a moment and fumbling in his nightstand. He really hadn't planned for this, didn't expect it to happen now. However he found a bottle of lotion and crawled back over to Luxord. The blond looked...well beautiful. He was probably the most vulnerable Xaldin had ever seen him and yet the look in his eyes made him shiver. Getting some lotion in he hand he leaned over him. "Tell me if it hurts." He said then slid his hand down.

He nodded, feeling himself stop breathing as he spread his legs slightly. He'd imagined how this would feel many times but his imagination sucked. The first feeling of the finger had him gasping, his hands digging at the sheets. Maybe it was because it was Xaldin but even just a slight touch had him so worked up.

Xaldin took his time, kissing the blond's brow gently as he slipped a finger in, trying to get him ready. He didn't wont it to hurt, he didn't want this moment ruined because he rushed it. He knew they had been building up to this, that he had waited forever but still. "Luxord." He murmured against his ear, pushing in another finger.

He cried out and held on to him, his blunt nails digging into the man's arm. "Oh...." he panted hard, his head spinning. "Xal...I...think I might....pass out..."

"Just a little longer." He promised and once he'd hit the breaking point he removed his hand, looking the blond in the eyes as he settled over him.

Watching the man intently, Luxord reached up and wrapped his arms around his neck. He pulled him close, the sensation of the entry making his whole body felt like it was on fire. "Xaldin," He panted, turning his head so his mouth rested against his ear, "I...I love you."

"What?" Xaldin faltered and ended up pushing all the way against him, groaning and shaking.

Luxord repeated himself, his whole body going red with embarrassment.

He could feel the heat and smiled. "Lux...I love you too. I have for a long time."

"I know." He admitted and just held on, offering himself up. He didn't once feel shame either. Being held by Xaldin was an amazing feeling, like he was something special. Crying out louder he pressed his face into the larger man's brad shoulders and screamed, his body tensing.

Xaldin couldn't hold out anymore, and shuddering he came, holding Luxord tightly to him. Gasping for air he collapsed against him.

The blond held him close, just trying to breathe as the waves of pleasure washed over him. Yes, there was no doubt now, this was who he was meant to be with, regardless of gender, this was the only person he could love like this.

His arms felt so weak but Xaldin managed to lift up off the man and lay on his side, still breathing heavy.

Luxord looked at him and after a few moments of staring at one another they both smiled. "Hey." He said.

"Hey." Xaldin said back and then reached over to stroke his cheek.

He grinned a little wider. "So I thought about it."

"Yeah?" Xaldin laughed. "And?"

Luxord sighed and then leaned over to him, brushing their lips together. "I'll tell you in the morning."


	5. Chapter 5

**Part 5: Merry Christmas**

"I'm not going." He muttered, staring out the window.  
"Vexen said that they want you to come as well." He finished packing the bags. "I know it will be a little awkward but that's in the past and they aren't holding any grudges." Saix smiled, walking over to the man in the chair. "Xemnas, please."

He looked at the man, his expression pensive. "They really want me to come?"

"Yes." Saix smiled. "Now come on, help me pack."

He sighed. "Alright." Standing up they finished packing their bag. Both Saix and Xemnas had found a nice secluded cottage in the forest not far from the Beast's castle. Xemnas had said he felt he should stay away from people for a while. Guilt was beginning to set in and he was feeling worse and worse about all he'd done. Granted Saix kept in contact with Vexen and the others and they always sent them well wishes, he believed it only out of politeness. Now they were going to Castle Oblivion for Christmas and he wondered if he should just stay away. It had only been a little over half a year since everything had taken place and he wasn't sure he was ready to talk with them normally. Yet Saix was optimistic and when the man looked at him like he usually did he found it hard to deny him. They didn't talk much, but that seemed to be their biggest strength; they didn't need to they just understood each other.

Once packed Saix went to make sure the gummi ship coming for them was on time as Xemnas waited. The Berserker was patient with him and though their relationship had reached intimate levels he still felt awkward at times. He wanted to actually say things he thought, but it was hard. Saix seemed to understand and never pressured him, but he still felt guilty. Why the man was so understanding he didn't know but he did know he'd never meet someone else who could read him like that. They loaded into a gummi ship an hour later and headed for Oblivion, Xemnas still nervous about going.

"Vexen, where do you want this?" Marluxia held a box of ornaments, the other three decorating the tree.

"I don't know…just stick it anywhere." He muttered, annoyed that Demyx felt the need to just decorate one side of the tree.

Marluxia grinned. "Are you sure? Last time you said that you weren't happy where I stuck it." He set the box down by the tree though.

The blond turned to him, an annoyed look on his face. "Ha ha." He snorted and went back to decorating. "Demyx, dammit the rest of the tree needs ornaments too, that's enough."  
"But it looks bare still." The other blond pouted.

"Just wait till the lights are on, little dude." Xigbar ruffled his hair. "Why don't you go get the star?" He grinned, watching the boy run off.

"Oh brother." Vexen rolled his eyes as he evened out the tree.

"What?" Xigbar looked at him.

"You. You're smitten." He muttered.

"Look who's talking?" The other man laughed and hung a bulb on the tree. "Marluxia bats his eyes at you and you're putty."

Vexen flipped him off and finished up the tree. Once they were done they all stood back staring up at it. "So…how are we getting the star up there again?" Vexen muttered.

Xigbar handed him the star. "You on Marluxia's back." He smirked.

"WHAT?" The man looked at him.

"Upsy-daisy." Marluxia came up behind him and hoisted him up. Vexen flailed a bit. "Stay still or I will drop you." He laughed, getting steady. "Now put the star on."

Vexen steadied himself and held up the star. "Closer…closer….CLOSER!"

"OKAY!" The assassin yelled back up, practically in the tree now. "Okay I am now officially an ornament, is that close enough?"

"Yeah." He put the star on.

"It's a little crooked." Xigbar called up.

"How about now?" Vexen shifted it.

"A little to the left."

"There?"

"No, too far, back to the right."

"There?"

"No too far again."

"Grr….there?"

"No too…"

"Oh for the love of god just put the damned thing on!" Marluxia growled.

"Xigbar, is it straight?" Vexen glared at him.

"Nnn….yeah. I was just screwing with you, it was straight the first time." Xigbar laughed.

"You sonuva…Let me down, Marluxia." Vexen struggled to get down so he could beat the crap out of the scarred man.

"Yeah, yeah." The man let him down. He watched as his lover chased Xigbar around the room before heading to the kitchen to finish preparing the meal, their guests arriving in the next few hours.

He was sure he was dreaming. The night before, right now, it all had to be a dream. He stared at the blond for quite a while, his heart pounding even doing that. He'd been sure things were reaching a breaking point but not in this way. Reaching up his hand brushed the man's jaw line, moving slowly down it.

"Ngh…Mmm." Luxord's eyes fluttered and then opened slowly, clear blue eyes looking at him as they tried to focus. "Mmm…morning."

"Morning." He smiled. He'd woken many nights from dreams where he had the man like this in them, and now he could wake up with him still there. "Sleep okay?"

"Yeah." He stretched a bit then settled against him.

Xaldin watched him then looped his arm around the blonde's waist a little tighter. "So, about what you were thinking?" He grinned.

Luxord looked at him and smiled back. "Oh yeah." He lowered his eyes, thinking more. "Well…I was thinking maybe we could just have one bedroom now." He looked back up, his smile more shy, his face a little pink. "If you want to, that is?"

Xaldin laughed. "You're asking me?" He pulled him close, their noses touching. "Lux, I have been dying for months to do just this." Leaning the rest of the way he kissed him, hearing the man give a faint moan. As he pulled away he rubbed his face against him. "So that idea is more than fine with me."

"Good." He whispered, looking at him. Luxord hadn't been sure how this would go when he raced home yesterday; he only knew that he needed to do something. Months of waiting, anticipating this moment had truly been too long. He should have done this when they first bought the bar, hell even before that. He should have said something when he kissed the man that first time, knowing he felt the same as him.

Xaldin held him close, closing his eyes. "We should probably get ready. We need to get to Castle Oblivion." He murmured.

"Oh yeah, the Christmas party. I hear Marluxia is making quite a feast." He smiled. Wouldn't they be surprised, or relieved? He wasn't sure, everyone had been more than supportive of this little debacle.

"Yeah." He opened his eyes again and shifted to get up. He brushed some of the dreads of hair from his face, stretching.

Luxord watched him, realizing he could touch him however he wanted. Reaching out he ran his hand up the man's back as he sat up. He couldn't remember how many times he had stared at him while the man's back was turned, realizing how attractive he found him.

Xaldin shivered and glanced at him, a faint smile on his lips and also a look of confusion. "What?"

"Nothing." He muttered and stared at him. "I...don't know." He laughed. "Sorry I guess this is going to be a bit awkward till we get used to it."

"No," He reached over and took his other hand, kissing it. "I think it won't be that bad. Just let my brain catch up." He looked at him, his violet eyes dark. "I've been holding back for a long time.

He flushed at that, that look having something feral in it. "I…I know." He mumbled, lowering his head. He should probably give up the ghost and explain to the man what had really been going on. "Xaldin, I…have something I need to tell you."

"What?" He tilted his head.

Taking a deep breath he began, explaining that he had overheard Larxene and him talking that night, the kiss he snuck in, the months of the crazy dreams and attempts at tempting him. He even explained why he really went away. "I know I should have just said something, but…I…I didn't want to mess things up. I wanted to be sure and,"

"Lux….LUX!" He looked at him. "You didn't want to hurt me if you were wrong, right?"

"Uh…yeah." He swallowed a lump in his throat.

"Then it's okay." He cupped his face. "When you told me you loved me last night, I was really happy. I think the happiest I have ever been, and now, knowing all that, I know you really meant it." With his heart pounding he pulled him against his chest. "It doesn't matter how we got here, but we're here now. I…I just want to be able to do this and know that you feel the same way back. You're still my best friend but now you're my lover too."

He squeezed his eyes shut, embarrassed and happy. "Yeah." This felt so odd, to be able to be with Xaldin like this now. He remembered so many times he felt nervous being near him. Now they were lying against each other, a thin sheet all that was between them. "We...should get ready." He muttered.

"I know." Xaldin whispered back, but he held him closer.

"We don't want to be late."

"I know."

Luxord felt his body shaking and closed his eyes. "Want to...go take a shower?" It was a long shot, he wasn't even sure if his point got across and when there was a long pause he began to panic.

"Okay." Xaldin shifted and lifted the man into his arms, sheet and all.

"Blood hell! Xal!" He clung to him, looking at the man red faced.

The other man laughed. "What? You expect me to be completely calm when you proposition me like that?" He cocked a brow at him, his confidence coming back. He had lost it almost when things began to get tense between them. Now that he knew the Brit felt the same he was able to do all the things he had wanted to.

Luxord looked at him, still pink in the cheeks but grinned back. "I was suggesting we clean up, what were YOU suggesting?"

The man grinned, and faced forward as they entered the bathroom. "Getting dirty enough to clean up, of course." He slammed the door shut with his foot and moments later the shower water started running...followed by some rather curious...noises.

When Vexen opened the castle door and saw Zexion he grinned. "It figures you both show up early." Then he looked around. "Where's Lexaeus?"

Zexion pointed to the mountain of presents next to him. "He's here."

"Can you just hold the door open so I can get these in there." The mound said.

"Oh." Vexen got out of the way as the presents moved and as they went though the door he realized Lexaeus was behind them and carrying quite a few. "Need help?"

"No...I got it." He wobbled a bit but headed for the main dining room with the tree.

Zexion smiled. "I got a bit carried away with the gifts." He entered the castle, Vexen closing the door and trailing behind him. "The others here yet?"

"No, you're the first. Dinner isn't till six anyways." He smiled. "And we are expected to have a new official couple among us." At least they hoped.

"Oh? Those two idiots finally decide to get off their asses and do something?" Zexion raised a brow as he looked back at him.

"We can hope. Luxord took off from the cafe we were at. He seemed like a man on a mission. Though with our luck he pansied out at the crucial moment." He muttered. If those two didn't do something soon he'd get annoyed. He was tired of picking up after their messes.

"Most likely, but we'll have to see." Zexion entered the room where Xigbar and Lexaeus were putting the presents under the tree. "Oh and we also have some presents from the kids as well. Sora and Kairi were at the castle when we left so..." He smirked. "I...never would have thought a year ago we'd be doing these things again."

"I know." Vexen sighed, never remembering a Christmas quite like this even before everything that had happened. "Well, I need to help Marluxia in the kitchen." He left Zexion and Lexeaus to put their things under the tree and headed for the kitchen. Entering the kitchen he found the assassin hard at work. "Need any help?" he asked.

Turning the man's face lit up a little. "No, I got it." Marluxia stared back at him a moment before going back to cooking.

The blond stood in the doorway before entering the room and leaned back against the counter, watching the other man cook. Marluxia's hands were graceful even when he was rushing to get things done. Though he supposed knowing EXACTLY what those hands could do didn't help. It seemed like forever ago when he had run from the man's touch, so afraid of losing him and thus shunning his own feelings. Marluxia had given him something precious, a chance at being more than he had ever been. Regardless of what name he used or what life he had before, or even all his past mistakes, Marluxia loved him. He wondered how he had managed to deserve such a thing.

"You have that pensive look." Marluxia looked at him. "What are you pondering about?" He smiled.

He couldn't count how many times he had withered under that smile, forgetting himself. "Nothing." He smiled and looked down, feeling rather content just being near him.

Knowing better than to push it Marluxia went back to cooking though his eyes strayed to the man frequently.

Vexen sometimes wondered when Marluxia would get fed up. Regardless what people thought they still fought and bickered, and sometimes he would be so annoyed with the man he could think of the cruelest things to say in his rage. However, when the time came to yell them he found they wouldn't leave his lips. Something in him had softened over time and he knew Marluxia was the reason. "If you need any help let me know." He said and stood up. "I'll be in our room." He left the kitchen heading to their bedroom. Locking the door behind him he went to the bed and pulled out a present from underneath it He had thought long and hard about what to get the man for Christmas. He wanted to give him something that expressed his feelings, expressed the love he felt that he had no words for. Months in the lab had finally produced the gift. He had also searched high and low for the perfect container for it. He only hoped that this gift would make the man feel more connected to him. Taking the gift he left the room, heading to put it under the tree.

The walk to Castle Oblivion had never been so nice. He squeezed the hand in his, glancing over at the blond. Luxord looked back, something warm in his gaze. He was carrying a sack with the presents in it, now wishing this had happened sooner so he could have gotten Luxord something else. He had played it safe, resisting giving anything too romantic. Now he wanted to, though he supposed he had time. "I can't wait for all the looks we'll get showing up like this." He smiled.

"Oh, you mean together?" He squeezed his hand back. "Yeah, though it'll be a sigh of relief." The Brit laughed. Lord knew everyone was tired of their dilly-dallying. Oddly enough they had fallen into being lovers rather easily. The awkwardness he had expected to feel was faint. It was more an issue of staying away from the man rather then trying to get closer but being too embarrassed to do it. Luxord had realized after a very long shower and another tussle on the bed that he was addicted to the man. Once they got too intimate his brain shut down any rational thought. Xaldin's kiss, his touch, everything set him off.

Xaldin was of the same mind, almost wishing he could have just stayed home with the man. For months he had toyed with different fantasies and ideas of what he would do if he could get his hands on the Brit, now he had him and there didn't seem like enough hours in the day to even sate his appetite. He'd never been like this before, even with girlfriends and lovers. There was something about the man that sparked an insatiable need to take everything he could from him and give everything.

"What are you thinking?" Luxord smiled, that smug look on his face.

"Nothing." He answered, looking at the castle coming into view.

"That's a filthy lie." The blond chuckled and stared at him with one brow raised. "You're undressing me with your eyes." He accused.

Oh no, here they go. He stopped, tugging the man against him. "Don't put ideas in my head." He stared at him, that desire building up in him again. It was like some switch had been hit. Once he knew there was nothing to hold him back it was all he could do to hold back...at least in public.

Swallowing Luxord looked up at him, his eyes darkening just a little. "I can't put something there that was already there to begin with." He argued though his voice had taken on a deep velvety tone.

His heart was pounding, and his let his hands graze over the man's sides, sliding over his back and pulling him closer. Dammit, he needed to calm down.

The blond wasn't any better off, struggling to gain some sense. Who knew he would be so addicted to the others touch. "We're going to be late." He muttered.

"You have no idea how much I don't care right now." He whispered, pulling him closer and lifting his chin.

"Xaldin..." His comment died in his throat as he felt the man's breath on his face. Mere millimeters from each other and then he felt something cold hit his cheek. They both blinked, looking up. Thousands of little white fluffs fell from the sky. "It's snowing." He muttered, holding out a hand to catch a flake before it melted.

"Huh." Xaldin smiled, seeing the flakes fall and stick to the ground. "Looks like it's gonna be a white Christmas for us."

Luxord looked at him, both glad and disappointed they seemed to have their heads on straight again. "Come on, let's go before we get distracted again." He took his hand walking towards the castle.

"I'm going back." Xemnas turned around, determined to not go when Saix grabbed his coat.

"Stop worrying." He smiled. "I told you they aren't holding grudges and they insisted you come as well." The Berserker walked close to him. "Please come with me." He titled his head.

Xemnas looked at him. Dammit, how could he say no? "Alright." He sighed. "But if it gets too uncomfortable I'm leaving." He grumbled. He still felt so odd. After adjusting to his somewhat emotions he still felt like he wasn't quite normal. Though Saix being with him gave him a closer form of completeness. He couldn't explain it though and was too embarrassed to really say it out loud to the man. How could someone be so loyal to another? What drove Saix to be so dedicated to him? Had he truly given him such a reason to be this way or was it for some reason he could not see?

They walked toward the castle where Vexen greeted them. "I saw you from upstairs." He grinned, leaning on the door. "Xemnas."  
"Vexen." The darker man said, wondering if there was tension or if he was imagining it.

"Saix." Vexen nodded to the other man then stepped back to let them in. "We're just waiting on our last pair." E gave a faint smirk, wondering when they'd show up or if they'd made it out of bed. He had no doubt Luxord finally confessed and Xaldin was a moron to change his mind now.

The Berserker nodded, fallowing Xemnas inside and taking his hand when the man's slowed a bit. He stayed close to him as they greeted the others, an awkward atmosphere coming over the group but one that was slowly dissolving the more Xigbar teased Xemnas until it was just like old times.

When Xaldin and Luxord did finally show up they were covered in snowflakes and shook off as they entered the castle, Demyx giving them a big grin as he looked at them. He said nothing though and led them to the main room where everyone else was. "They're here!" he announced.

"It's bloody cold outside." Luxord said shivering a bit and then was surprised when Xaldin put his arm around him. He was probably more awkward about the looks that they got.

"Hey." Xaldin smiled, looking much like he usual self instead of the wreck he'd been the past few weeks.

Xigbar sighed. "'Bout time. Please, please tell me you two sealed the deal and did it?"

"Not that it's any of your business but we did actually," Xaldin began.

"Nope, don't want details. That's all I need." The other man held up a hand to stop him.

"Xigbar, you douche." Luxord murmured then went to get a drink but his mannerisms were all playful.

Xaldin's eyes followed him and he sat down.

Larxene frolicked over to Luxord as he got a drink. "So...was he good?" She asked, her female gossiping needs needing fulfilled.

Luxord flushed but cleared his throat. "Yeah...really good."

"And is he...you know...?" She grinned.

The Brit just looked at her and grinned. "That's something I want to keep to myself for now." But his smile said it all.

"Ah." She giggled, getting a drink herself.

Xigbar leaned over to Xaldin. "So, seriously, you guys are all sunshine and rainbows now?"

"Yes." Xaldin sighed then smiled, unable to hide it. "I'm still thinking it's a dream."

"Hm." Xigbar smiled and clapped him on the back. "Congrats, man. Just treat him good. I think it was real hard for him to come to terms with it all."

"I know." He nodded then looked up when Luxord came over and sat next to him. It didn't take long for them to get just a bit closer, secret looks and smiled passing between them.

"Okay, everyone to the table, food's ready." Marluxia said, looking a bit tired. He'd pretty much been cooking all day.

The crew got to the table, sitting down and digging into the food. For the apprentices this was the first time they'd all sat down together in such a normal way since that day they turned their lives upside down. Now they were together again and with a whole other addition to their odd family. Xemnas was awkward but soon they were laughing about odd things from their youth.

"So then Xemnas said that we should test it out, but get Master Ansem's permission first." Xigbar said.

"Which you didn't." Vexen smirked.

"No." The man snorted. "SO yeah we conned Xemmy here to help me and Xal out an we got it all ready but then I think we mixed it wrong so when Xaldin went to add the last part it,"

"Blew up in my face. The man groaned.

"Hey you're eyebrows grew back." The scarred man argued.

"And that's the story of why Xaldin's eyebrows are so funky." Vexen grinned and took a drink, shifting as a napkin was thrown at him.

"This is natural." The larger man growled.

"Yeah and Xigbar isn't an ass." Xemnas snorted. "They were never that bad till after that incident.

Xigbar laughed. "Burn."

Xaldin flipped them both off. "Dicks."

Luxord leaned over, whispering in the man's ear.

Xaldin's eyes widened a bit and then a faint grin spread across his lips.

"Ah man, don't be talking sex at the dinner table." Xigbar moaned.

"Hey, we had to listen to your drunken sex stories about Demyx a few months back when you were too drunk to stand. I can make promises in hush tones if I bloody well want to." Luxord argued.

"That was,"

"You WHAT?" Demyx went red. "What did you tell them?"

"Nothing..." Xigbar laughed nervously.

Xaldin looked at Demyx with a grin. "Yeah, nothing, little sex nymph." He chuckled.

Demyx flushed darker. "XIGBAR!"

"LIES! ALL LIES!" The man screamed before everyone else cracked up.

Xigbar should have been in the doghouse the rest of the night but the excitement of Christmas had Demyx jumping around with his Santa hat. "Present? Canweopenpresents? Ireallythinkweshouldopenpresents. It's time,

weshouldopenpresents. present? present!"

Xigbar laughed. "Okay calm down." He patted his head. "You can start passing them out." He had everyone sat down as Demyx quickly bounced around checking tags.

They took care of the presents from Sora and the kids, which were all really sweet thoughtful gifts, before passing around the gifts to each other.

Xigbar held up his shirt from Luxord, where across the front in big black letters was "Douche Master" "Ha ha." He looked at the Brit.

Luxord smiled. "Like it? I saw it and thought of you."

"You're a dick...but good one." He grinned and folded the shirt as he reached for another present.

"Thank you." The man laughed and opened his present from Xaldin. When he saw the deck of cards he gaped at them. 'These are..."

"Took me a while to find those. You know they only made like two hundred of them. I found it in an antique store." He smiled.

The man opened them carefully, the design along the back marking them as a rare set. "These are just...." he looked at the man. "Thank you." He smiled, staring at Xaldin. If he loved the am before he really loved him now. Even before Xaldin knew they'd be like this he'd gotten him something so thoughtful and special. He flushed a bit. "Uh...now I wish I had gotten you something better."

Xaldin laughed. "Why, what'd you get me?" he opened the present finding the scarf with an intricate yet bold blue and violet pattern.

The blond smiled sheepishly. "I was trying to go for subtle and it came out a bit girly." He muttered.

"Aw, that's so cute." Xigbar said seeing the gift. "Did you knit it yourself...ow!" He looked up at Larxene who smacked his head.

"Shut it. I helped him pick that out. It took us all day to find the perfect one." She muttered then looked at Xaldin. "It's a long one so you can both wrap up in it." She winked.

Xaldin laughed again and looked at Luxord, taking his hand as he wrapped the scarf around them both. "It's perfect, and given the weather now I can see us using it a lot."

Luxord smiled, giving a faint laugh but his heart was racing.

Zexion held up the intricate bookmark in his hands, reading the quote. "Thank you." He looked at Lexeaus.

"Dude, you couldn't get him something better." Xigbar scoffed.

Lexeaus looked at the man.

Zexion spoke before the big man. "Shut up. It's got a quote from Nietzsche and this is an extremely nice bookmark." He looked at the man who gave it too him. "And I'll be sure not to lose this one." He smiled. Zexion was famous for losing his bookmarks but to get such a special one from the person he loved, he'd always keep it close.

"Nietzsche? That like a disease or something?" The scarred man said titling his head.

Zexion rolled his eyes. "Xigbar, read a book sometime. It might help that dull brain of yours. Who knows, you might develop some manners."

"Pshh, never." He said sitting back and looping an arm around Demyx as the boy opened presents.

As the presents dwindled Marluxia got up, going over to where he'd hidden Vexen's present.

Those that knew, and it was most of them, what the man had gotten stopped what they were doing, looking over.

Vexen looked around a bit confused then looked up at Marluxia. "What?"

The man tilted his head, his blue eyes staring at the blond in the chair. "Wanna open my present?" he smiled, his voice a little tense.

The blond looked at him. "Sure." He felt excitement build in him but also confusion at the man's odd behavior. Everyone had stopped talking, looking over at them.

Marluxia didn't go back in his chair, instead kneeling on his knees and putting the present aside to take the man's hands. "Now I know that it's a bit odd but...this gift is more a symbol than anything."

"Okay." Vexen stared at him, his focus solely on the man who seemed so serious.

The pink haired man took a deep breath. "Vexen, in all the stages of our relationship, from the odd hate to the dependence I had when you found me as a Heartless." He smiled.

Vexen gave a faint smirk.

"To what we have now...in all my life in any form I've never felt more a part of someone as I have with you." He laced their fingers together, staring at their hands a moment. "When I'm with you I'm complete, I'm happy, I feel like my life is really there and I'm not just letting it pass me by."

"Marluxia," Vexen leaned closer but was silenced by the man's finger.

"So this gift is to show you that, no matter what happens, no matter where you are or where I am, no matter how many fights or tears we shed, or the laughs we share that I will never feel as complete as I do right now, looking at you."

The blond was speechless and watched as Marluxia reached down and grabbed the present, taking the ribbon off the wooden box and grabbing the lid.

"We don't have to do anything I just want you to have something to remind you that I'm never going to want to be with anyone else but you...ever." He lifted the lid revealing the rings.

The silver metal of the band wove back and forth so that when the rings were placed on top of each other they fit together perfectly. One band had a vine looping around it loosely with a flower here and there while another was laced with tiny diamonds. "One for you." Marluxia said taking the diamond one out and grabbing Vexen's hand.

Vexen had heard of moments when the world stopped and nothing else existed outside a moment. He was sure he'd felt it before, he was wrong. He looked at Marluxia then the ring as it slid over his ring finger, his throat tightening.

Marluxia smiled and grabbed the other ring, giving it to Vexen and offering his hand. "And one for me."

He lowered his eyes, his hand shaking as he slipped the ring on Marluxia's finger. When he glanced up again his eyes were watery and he leaned into Marluxia, feeling the man nuzzle at his face.

Marluxia smiled, maybe a bit misty eyed himself, and kissed the man's brow and the bridge of his nose. "I love you."

"I love you too." He murmured, then sighed. "Did you have to do this in front of everyone?" He covered his face, feeling the pairs of eyes on them.

Marluxia laughed and wrapped his arms around the man. "Of course, I don't half ass anything." He chuckled.

Vexen could have died of embarrassment as everyone else stared at them...well except Demyx, who was crying about how beautiful the moment was. He wiped his eyes and reached down for a small box. "Alright, so my gift to you..." he wallowed. "I actually have never done this before so it was very hard to find a gift." He looked at Marluxia. "I...thought long and hard about what would suit you and then I stumbled across this." He undid the ribbon around the box. "I was experimenting with light, our light actually, to try and figure things out. Well out of curiosity I mixed yours and mine and," he opened the box. There was an amulet and at the center of a glass crystal was a bright light, swirls of violet, pink, yellow, gold and blues all mixing and fading out as other colors became more noticeable. Even staring at it anyone could feel the warmth radiating from it.

Marluxia stared and then looked at Vexen.

The blond smiled faintly. "It was like watching myself from outside my body, seeing how I am with you." He took it out of the box and put it around Marluxia's neck. "It's why I want you to have it, so you'll always see and feel the difference you've made in me."

Marluxia laughed, but he couldn't stop the tears. To see such a thing, feel the sensations off it, he had to think Vexen some sort of angel to capture such a thing. "It's beautiful." He laughed and hugged him.

Xigbar sat back. "Man, they make the rest of us look bad." He muttered.

Demyx snuggled against him. "But I think this is the best Christmas ever." He murmured.

"Yeah?" The man looked at him as he looped an arm around the boy's shoulders.

"Yeah, cause I get to spend this Christmas with you." He smiled warmly at him, his teal eyes content and loving.

The man might have gotten a bit choked up at that, and maybe he felt his throat tense as he tried to not get teary eyed. "Well, hm..." he cleared his throat. "I guess I feel the same," he whispered against his cheek and gave him a kiss.

Once the presents were passed out they had somehow managed to get into a card game, and not just any card game, a game of Strip Poker to be exact. Surprisingly Luxord was not winning on account of Marluxia's tenacity to get Vexen undressed. Larxene had dropped out with only shedding her shoes, deciding it was much more fun to watch them.

Vexen sighed and stood up. "What should I take off now?" he stared at Marluxia.

The assassin sat back. "Your belt." He purred.

Vexen started to when Larxene snapped. "No, no no! Slower, dammit, take it off slower. I might as well get something good out of being here around you homos."

The blond rolled his eyes and made a show of undoing the belt and taking it off very very slowly, cocking his hips a bit.

Marluxia dropped his cards.

"Dude, no ogling while you're in the game." Xigbar snapped. Demyx was leaning over his shoulder the pair playing as a team since Demyx wasn't good at cards. Luxord snorted. "Says the one who doesn't have temptation in the gaming circle." He looked at Xaldin was down to barely anything. True he might have been using his skills to get the man undressed but it was fun.

After a few more turns everyone was getting down pretty close. Zexion had managed to one-up Luxord enough to make them all about even with the exception of Marluxia who was mostly dressed and Xaldin who was...well was he actually wearing any clothes?

Xigbar glanced over, "Xal, why are you still playing, you don't have any clothes left?"

"Yes I do. I have a sock." The man said, checking over his hand.

The scarred man glanced down at the larger man's feet. "No, you don't."

Xaldin smirked.

It took the other man a moment but his eyes began to drift up and then he groaned and looked away. "OH DUDE! Why, why?"

Demyx looked over. "That's a big sock."

"Yes it is." Luxord grinned and set down his hand. "Royal flush, sock comes off." He held out his hand to take it.

The game ended with Marluxia the winner...technically but he forfeited in the last two rounds because Vexen was tempting him as he played, forcing the man to get up and haul the man off to the bedroom. In the end they deemed Zexion the winner and he carefully gathered up everyone's clothes. "Come, Lexeaus, let's go have sex on their clothes." He cackled, reveling in the fact that he could back at most of them for past deeds.

Larxene laughed and stared at the mostly naked group, getting up. "Well boys it's been a blast, but I think I'm off to bed." She giggled and left.

Xemnas groaned. "I will kill Zexion some day." He muttered.

Xigbar leaned back, crossing his legs and hiding himself. "Well it could be worse." He said. "Anyways I think I'm off to bed too. Good game gentlemen." He got up, using Demyx's shirt as covering as he and the blond boy left. Moments later the other couples left to their rooms. The castle had never seen so much excitement as it had that Christmas eve, snow falling silently outside to greet them in the morning.


	6. Chapter 6

**Part 6: Today, Tomorrow, and Every Day After**

The next day greeted anyone who looked outside with a white world. Snow covered the ground, pure and glistening. Vexen stood on the balcony, staring at it as the sun came up. He didn't find the morning cold, but he did shiver when a warm pair of arms wrapped around him.

Marluxia shivered but nuzzled close. "Morning." He smiled and kissed his shoulder.

"Morning." He muttered and glanced at the man. He looked sleepy and chilled but it was also wonderful seeing as he was the only one who really saw him like this. He laced his fingers with one of Marluxia's hands, feeling the ring on the man's finger, recalling his part of the matching set. The gift still struck him. How long had Marluxia planned this? How long had he thought about the design, about each part of it?

"Pretty." Marluxia murmured, his fingers playing with Vexen's.

He glanced at the view. "Yes, it is." He replied.

"Oh the scenery is nice too but I wasn't talking about it." He grinned and turned the man around, pressing him against the railing but keeping one arm tightly around is waist.

Vexen felt a slight flush in his cheeks; still startled by the way the man invoked such emotions from him. Even if he heard words of love a hundred times Marluxia always found new ways to say it, or not say it at all. Sometimes a simple look would make his heart race and he'd forget himself. His gaze narrowed and he managed a smile. "Look as long as you like."

"Oh I intend to." He chuckled and gave a little growl before nuzzling at his neck. He ran his mouth over cool skin before slowing, taking in his scent. "Merry Christmas, Vexen." His voice was soft and velvety, a warmth in it that not long ago hadn't existed.

The blond reached up and ran his fingers through his hair. "Merry Christmas, Marluxia."

"We should get up." He murmured but that mouth just had a way of making him forget why. He groaned as they rolled, his back pressed against the bed as a warm body covered him.

"I hear you but I was thinking...." He brushed their lips together, "We should go with this method."

Damn him. "Xaldin, I want to be able to walk home today."

"I'll carry you." He purred, his hand running down the blonde's side.

He chuckled and wrapped his arms around his neck. It had only been two days but he felt like they'd never been anything but this. "You make a very valid argument."

"I thought so." He growled, nibbling his ear.

Luxord squirmed, his eyes falling shut. "Should have been...a lawyer or...something."

"Damn, I guess I picked the wrong profession." He murmured, his hands drifting along the man's torso, running a fingertip across his navel and further down.

The blonde gasped, arching his back a bit. "I don't know...you are awful sexy in your uniform."

"You think so?" Xaldin's hand drifted further down until he felt the hard heat. "I was hoping I was at least catching your eye a bit."

His voice came out as a desperate choke as his head spun for a moment. "Oh you did." Luxord muttered tensely. "I was...watching more than you...oh god I can't have a conversation if you do that."

The other man laughed, kissing the side of his lover's mouth. "That was the point."

"I forget what we were talking about...again...AH!" He flinched, his fingers digging into the sheets.

"You were moaning." He said before finally taking his lips, delving into that moist cavern, the tingles running through him like some mixture of fire and electricity. Xaldin hadn't realized until that first kiss that he could feel such things. He thought he was sunk when he noticed his feelings for the man; that had been nothing. Touching, kissing, just being within inches of the man made him want to lose control. Honestly they'd break a million laws if they had any less restraint.

"Xaldin..." he panted. Luxord sometimes forgot he wasn't in his dreams anymore. Most of the time he woke up around this part but not now.

"Say my name again." He breathed, breaking away from the kiss just enough to feel his breath mingle with the blonde's.

The Gambler responded to him but uttering his name again, even more desperate this time. He tried to lean up to kiss him but Xaldin pulled away, still maintaining that same torturous distance. "Don't tease me."

"Fair is fair." He grinned, but it was getting hard to hold back.

"Damn you." He gave a sharp cry, his body trembling. "I can fight back, you know?"

"I'm aware." He kissed his lips briefly, watching the man's eyes, half closed and bright blue, almost like smoldering blue flames.

His eyes fluttered open wider a moment as he felt the beginning rush. "Xal..." Reaching up he tangled his fingers in the man's thick hair, grabbing him and finally pulling him into the kiss, shaking and tensing as he got louder. The kiss muffled it but the intensity in his reaction was apparent as he fell apart in the other's arms.

Several minutes later he teased the man's hair as Xaldin rested his head on his chest. "What about you?" he said a bit dazed.

"I can wait till we get home." He said with a smile. "Besides if you were me you'd understand how amazing it is to watch you when you come." He laughed.

He pinched his ear. "Hey."

"I meant it as a compliment." Xaldin glanced up at him. "Besides I like making you feel good, I just want to make sure you don't change your mind."

"Xaldin, I'm not going to bloody change my mind now. You've ruined me, I'm gay now." He smirked.

"Yes, I'm an evil monster." He cocked a brow.

"Naw, just really worth it." He rested his head on an arm, staring down at him. "So don't worry, you're stuck with me."

"I can live with that." The man's violet eyes stared at the blond a moment before leaning up to kiss him again, whispered words passing between them amidst the kisses.

With a loud yawn and scratching across his chest under his shirt, Xigbar wobbled into the kitchen to make coffee. He found Xemnas there, sitting as if deep in thought. "Am I interrupting?" He asked, cocking a brow.

The man looked up like he hadn't realized he was no longer alone just then. "Oh, Xigbar." He said a bit flatly.

He shook his head and went to make coffee. "Something up? You look all...ya know...deep and stuff."

He shrugged. "I suppose I am. I have been wondering about certain...things." He glanced across the room.  
The scarred man raised a brow as he made the coffee and went to sit across the kitchen table from his long time friend. "Yeah? Like what?"

Xemnas looked at the man, clamming up a moment before muttering. "Saix."

"Ah, I see." He grinned and nodded sagely. "You and puppy boy having some relationship issues?"

"Relationship issues?" The darker man titled his head.

"Yeah, ya know, a fight, lover's quarrel, a spat." Xigbar looked at him.

"We are not in a relationship like you or the others." He said.

"WHAT?" Xigbar sat upright, the table rattling as he put his hands on it. "Are you serious. You mean you guys haven't...." He made a few lewd gestures with his hands. 'Yet?"

"Of course not!" Xemnas actually blushed a bit. "I...I am not quite sure he wants such a thing and I'm not exactly capable of giving him it."

"You don't like him?"

"That isn't it. I do I just...feelings of affection are very foreign to me and always have been. I can't just immediately be able to act like...well you and Demyx and certainly not to the embarrassing level of Vexen and Marluxia." He sighed and lowered his eyes.

Xigbar scratched his head. "Have you actually talked to Saix about this so he knows or are you just stringing him along?"

"What do you mean?" Xemnas looked a bit distressed. Honestly the man was hopeless.

"Xemmy, listen, you can't just let things keep going without bringing it up. Sure I'm sure he was being patient and waiting but eventually he might decide he can't wait anymore and then it's yes or no, do or die, to be or not to be."

"Stop trying to be cryptic." Xemnas snorted.

'Well, you get what I mean. He ain't just gonna be your puppy forever. Eventually he'll want to be upgraded to lover.

"How do you know? Perhaps we are simply friends."

The other man snorted. "I doubt that." Xigbar leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms. "Saix was worried about you the couple days he was here after he woke up. He was so nervous you'd reject him. I mean I figured you two had at least done the horizontal mambo by now."

"BRAIG!" Xemnas cried, calling the man by his true name. "Please, I don't want to talk about that."

"Have you at least kissed him?"

"A couple times." Xemnas muttered.

"Let me guess, he initiated it?" Xigbar raised a brow. "See, you can't just let him take the fall every time. You gotta man up and do something or else he's gonna just give up and go away." He flapped his hand as if saying farewell.

Xemnas looked at him and a worried look fell over his gold eyes. "I...I suppose you are right." He pondered this a moment before looking at the man. "I never thought I would ever be talking about these sorts of things with YOU of all people."

Xigbar sighed. "Yeah, me neither. Crazy, huh?"

'Yes." The darker man actually smiled a bit.

Just then Marluxia and Vexen both came through the door, Vexen walking a bit dazed to the table and Marluxia heading for the freshly brewed coffee.

Xigbar grinned. "Getting coffee? Can you get some for me too while you're at it, champ? Thanks."

Marluxia flipped him off and walked past.

Feigning horror the scarred man looked at Vexen. "Did you see what he did to me? You need to train your boy better...Vexen?"

The blond was staring at Marluxia as he walked to the counter.

"Dude, are you making eyes at your boyfriend in public?" A real look of horror crossed Xigbar's face.

The blond looked at him. "Have you seen who I'm dating?" he cocked a brow. "I should be able to look all I want I mean," he glanced back at Marluxia. "He's...I don't know, so tasty I can spread him on a cracker or something."

Both men at the table just stared. Xigbar was the first to break down though and began to laugh. "Oh dude." He looked at Xemnas and laughed harder. "I don't know what's funnier, the fact that you said that or his face." He pointed to the still flabbergasted Xemnas.

Vexen looked at Xemnas a moment. "What's funny is what happened last night...." He muttered.

Xemnas was still in shock.

Vexen opened his mouth to speak then paused. "No, no you're right that look is pretty funny." He gave a faint subdued laugh.

Xigbar chuckled. "I know, right?"

"You're all idiots." Zexion muttered, walking into the kitchen with Lexeaus. "Oh, did you find your clothes?"

Vexen looked over. "I did, in a nice folded pile at the door. I will commence in burning them right after breakfast." He grinned.

Xigbar raised his glass. "Here here."

After breakfast Xemnas took a walk by himself. He was thinking about what Xigbar had said. Somehow he knew he was right. He had to assert himself in this. He wasn't quite sure how, though. He was used to having things laid out, having a goal and using the correct method to achieve that goal but this was dealing with another person, unpredictable, unable to truly calculate. He wandered out into the gardens. He'd never been a huge fan of flowers and foliage but well it was rather peaceful out here. He heard something and followed the sound. It was as if someone was fighting but there was only one voice and looking through the trees he saw him.

Saix was practicing like he did every morning. He'd told Xemnas it was so he wouldn't slow him down. He swung the claymore swiftly, moving as quick as he ever had but his mind was a bit clouded. He was wondering if he'd ever be able to stand beside Xemnas as an equal. He could not explain the desire for this, or why his heart demanded it when somehow back in the organization he had in a way resented the man for what had happened. How could such feelings become...?

Xemnas came out, watching the man more obviously. He was beautiful, and loyal but there was more than that. Saix was the only person who had stayed beside him even if he was the cause for all of it. How could you forsake a person who did that, especially for a half complete man like him? He was being unfair, always letting the man make the move, set the pace but there were things he wanted. He wanted...more. Walking closer he marked the man's movements, the swing of his blade. He had to say something before he disappeared. Reaching out he caught the claymore.  
Saix stared wide-eyed at him, having been so focused he hadn't noticed him, a careless mistake. "Xemnas?"

He looked at him. Underneath the stern gaze, the skill to tear apart anyone who challenged him he was rather withdrawn, shy and he moved his hand to push the weapon aside as he stepped closer. "I do not feel like just waiting anymore." He said.

Confused but surprised by that he leaned back a bit, his grip on the sword loosening. "Xemnas?"

"All this time I have let you decide but I have given nothing back." He murmured, reaching out to cup his cheek. "It is not fair of me."  
Blushing Saix was completely at a loss. He wasn't used to this, in fact the man was initiating a conversation for once.

"Saix..." He leaned closer, staring at him. Somehow that emptiness he still felt was fading, replaced with warmth in his chest. He kissed him, his hands slowly sliding around him to pull him closer. He'd merely sat there the few times Saix did this to him, unable to react but liking the sensation.

Eyes still wide he felt the contact and a shiver ran down his spine. Xemnas, Xemnas was kissing him, holding him? He couldn't fathom it but closing his eyes he leaned close, a slight moan escaping him. How could he stop him, how could he not be overjoyed by this?

He held him more firmly, deepening the kiss, smiling a bit when hands wrapped around him to join in the embrace. Saix was special to him and though he was awkward, unable to be like the others he would find out how. He would find out how to love and be loved.

"That a boy." Xigbar muttered sitting back from the window.  
Demyx was resting his chin on his arms. "It's nice that everyone is happy." He said, wishing he had his camera to capture this moment.

"Yeah." He said looking at the blond. Somehow he always had to smile when he looked at him. "Dem, are you happy?"  
"Huh?" he looked at him and smiled. "Of course I am." He crawled over to him, looping his arms around his neck to hug him. "I always am happy with you, even before, even when I shouldn't have been able to."

He smiled and closed his eye. "Yeah? Me too." He muttered. "So it's Christmas." He said.

"Yeah?" Demyx looked at him. "What do you want to do?"

He thought about it for a moment. "How about we go out and take pictures, just of us?" He titled his head back and looked at him. "Hm?"

The blond smiled warmly. "Yeah." He didn't want to ever lose himself again but if he did he wanted those tiny records of the time they'd all been together. Leaning over Xigbar he laughed. "Love you."

He reached up, brushing hair from his face. "Love you too, little dude." He said with a big grin.

Days after Christmas found the apartment above the bar silent except for the faint shifting of bodies on the couch. "Xaldin, wait..." Luxord gasped, pushed back, pressed into the cushions.

"You were the one you started it." He grinned, nibbling at his neck, sucking at the warm skin. His hands opened the blond's shirt, eager to touch him. Getting frustrated he ripped the shirt open, running his hand over the pale chest.

Groaning Luxord writhing under him, unable to resist. Somehow this seemed very familiar. "Hey...I think...I had a dream about this...not exactly but...."

"Oh? You were having dirty dreams about me?" he grinned, kissing down his chest.

"Yeah, so?" He looked down at him, swallowing hard. It was still difficult to keep his wit about him with the man. This always happened lately and it was a miracle they got any work done at the bar.

He chuckled. "Luxord?" He looked up at him. "I love you."

He flushed. "Oh...you bloody cheat." He muttered but gave a faint smile. "You know I love you too, now hurry up before I go crazy."

The other man laughed, working off his clothes. "As you wish." He purred, kissing him deeply.

Unlike the dream, this time Luxord didn't wake up feeling his heart respond to the other and drowning in the bliss of it all.

**Epilogue**

He laughed as they drew a new face on the redhead. Both blond heads cracked up at the pair of glasses this time.

"Demyx, where...." Vexen paused seeing them. "Oh what the hell are you doing now? You know if he wakes up he'd going to kill you." He snorted.

Demyx laughed. "Oh come on, he'll think it's funny later. Besides I didn't draw this one." He held up the blond two year old next to him. "Roxas did."

"Funny." The boy squealed.

Vexen raised a brow. "Yeah, funny. You know that when Sora wakes up with a mustache and a beard he's going to come find you, right? You can't teach kids this crap."

"CRAP!" Roxas repeated.

"What?" Vexen stared in horror. "No, no Roxas I didn't say that. Don't...."

"Crap! Crap!" The boy said again.

Demyx grinned. "Now what were you saying?"

"YOU SHUT UP." He grit his teeth the rage building.

"Crap!" Roxas said again.

Vexen grabbed the child from Demyx. "Now, Roxas, we don't say that." He smiled weakly. "If you never speak that word again I'll give you candy."

Somehow the child responded to that and fell silent.

"Good boy." He said relieved and went to grab him a sucker or something. As he was on his way to the kitchen he saw Xigbar holding a crying blond girl and a dejected Marluxia in the corner. "What's wrong?" he asked confused.

Xigbar couldn't get her to stop crying. "Um...I think Namine hates Marluxia." He said.

"Can you blame her?" Marluxia said with a frown causing more cries from the child. "It's like they really are...oh never mind..." he muttered.

"Well in a sense they are." Vexen sighed, seeing the little girl light up when she saw him. "No, no..."

Xigbar smiled. "Hey, she likes you." He handed the girl to Vexen, seeing him with the twins. "Awww, you're like Mother Teresa." He grinned.

The blond glared at him. "I hate you." He held both kids. "I am not a damned babysitter." He muttered.

"Damn Babysiffer." Roxas said.

"No, Roxas!" Vexen whined. "Why me?" he said going to the kitchen.

Xigbar followed him. "Well you were the one that thought it was a good idea." He argued.

Vexen sighed. "I know but Axel seems to react when Roxas is near. I'm not sure how to explain it but it's like what he's waiting for is....Hm." He thought on it.

Xigbar grinned. "Guess we'll just have to wait and see, huh?" He muttered watching the children. "I don't think we're ever gonna understand how this all works."

"No, but it will be interesting to watch." He said, patting Roxas' head as he gave him the sucker.

"Aww, now say thank you to auntie Vexen, Roxas." Xigbar said.

"'fank you, aunty Vexy." He mumbled over the sucker.

Vexen's smile faded. "Why do you do it? Why? Why?" He looked at Xigbar.

"Cause your reactions are hilarious." He laughed. "Come on, Sora and Kairi should be here to get them soon."

"Yeah." Vexen picked the children up, stopping by Axel's room with them one more time. When would Axel wake up?

"Axel." Roxas said.

"Yes, that's right, Roxas, that's Axel."

The little blond stared as if seeing something Vexen couldn't. Blinking he looked back at Vexen and smiled.

He couldn't help but smile back.

"Vexy?" Namine tugged at his hair. "Potty?"

He turned to the girl. "Oh...oh you have to be kidding me." He whined. Why did he always get stuck doing this?

~Fin


End file.
